Friday, April 10, 2009

I Have Been There

There's a song my Mark Schultz that I love. Well, actually several. In fact, on our trip down to Atlanta, GA in 2002 as proud University of Maryland alumni to cheer on theTerps to victory as they won their first men's basketball National Championship, my friend Christina and I listened to his CD over and over... perhaps even for the whole 12 hour drive.

Mark Schultz sings "He Will Carry Me," the namesake of this blog. He sings "He's My Son," a song that tugged at my heart so much while I was pregnant with Isaac (and still does). But the one I was thinking of this week is called "I Have Been There." I won't cut and paste all the lyrics for you, but here is the last verse and the chorus:

An older man up on a hill
Holding flowers but he can't hold back the tears.
Oh he has come to say goodbye.
He thinks about the life she lived,
Thinks about how hard it's been to live without her
Sixty years right by his side.
And he cries, oh Lord I loved her till the end.
And he heard a gentle voice say
You'll see her once again.

I have been there
I know what sorrow's all about.
Yes I have been there,
and I'm standing with you now
I have been there,
and I came to build a bridge
Oh so this road could lead her home,
the road could lead her home

Oh I have been there,
You know I overcame the cross,
Yes I have been there
So her life would not be lost
Oh I have been there, and I came to build a bridge
So this road could lead you home
The road could lead you home
Oh I have been there
Yes I have been there

Tonight, Spencer and I will be going with some of our friends to the Good Friday service at our church. While I was out on my long run yesterday, I had a lot of time to think and pray. I really just spent a lot of time thinking about how a dimension of the cross that I never understood until now was what it must have been like for Mary. John 19:25 says, "Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother..." For the first time, I get it. I understand what it is like to watch your son die. No, Isaac wasn't the savior of the world, and no, Isaac wasn't crucified... but I watched him die. I heard the neonatologist as she told me that his heart had slowed down to only 30 beats per minute... and I heard her again when she told me that Isaac was gone. And while Isaac was so peaceful, and I am so thankful for that, it doesn't change the fact that he died.

As I continued my run, I thought of this song. I really identified with the line that says "'Oh Lord, I loved her till the end.' And he heard a gentle voice say, 'You'll see her once again.'" I did... I loved Isaac until the end. I still do. And while my heart is broken over the fact that he isn't here, because of the cross, I can be confident in the hope that I will see him again. I was also reminded of the fact that He has been there. Jesus knows what sorrow is all about. In Matthew 26:38, Jesus says that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. He knows what sorrow is all about. He has been there.

I don't know what sorrows you may be facing. Maybe, like me, it's the loss of a child and for the first time this year, you, too, can identify with Mary. Maybe it's the loss of a spouse or a parent; maybe it's a poor prognosis, or something I haven't mentioned here. What I want you to know is that He has been there.

The beauty in the cross is that it is where Jesus, our Savior, has built a bridge from death into life. Because of the cross, Isaac is healed and whole in Heaven... rejoicing in the presence of our God. Because of the cross, we, too, can be reconciled with God if we if choose to put our faith, or hope, and our trust in Him.

Have you? Will you?


Anonymous said...

Thank you. It is so easy to feel alone in the hurt of this world. Thank you for the reminder that I am not alone, that my Creator is with me and He HAS been there.

Rachel said...

AMAZING! This post put that in persepective for me. It gave me a different view of the cross as well, as a mother. Thank you, again for your faithfulness and boldness to share God's Word!

Your Sister in Christ,
Rachel <><

Anonymous said...

Thank you for such beautiful and true words. My heart hurts for you and your dear Isaac. I long for a day when we can all rejoice together in Heaven.

Anonymous said...

Stacey I blogged about something similar today, but you express it far better than I ever could. Cardinal Bernadin said:" As we look upon the cross it gives rise to a certain kind of inability to see, that ultimately, all things will work for our good, and that we are, indeed, not alone." And we aren't. I truly believe that. On this Good Friday, as you, like Mary, mourn the loss of your beautiful son, you must be so proud that, in his all too brief time here on earth, like Jesus he did touch so many hearts. And even more so, now he is not in the physical world, Isaac reminds us what it means to love. Thank you Stacey xxx

Molly said...

Wow, this is a very powerful post. Brought me to tears. I'm so glad to read your blog. And I want you to know that with me reading each of your posts I feel myself drawing closer to Jesus.

Taylor said...

This is a really, really special post for Good Friday. Thank you for sharing Stacy!

Kelli said...

All we need is Him. Beautiful words today!!

Anonymous said...

God is so good. I'm crying for you as you are missing your sweet son, but also rejoicing with you that your Isaac is celebrating the Resurrection with the Savior Himself. Wow! Thank you for this beautiful post.

Heather said...

Thank you for your beautiful words. I appreciate your perspective and now I will view the cross and Mary's hurt much differently. May God bless you many times over.

Bre said...

Beautiful! And thank you so much for reminding me He has been there. Often I feel like I'm alone in my grief, but I'm not. Thank you for sharing the Good News in this Good Friday. Continued prayers for you, and your whole family.

jennifer said...

Thanks for your sweet note, prayed for you the other day when I heard the song "Marvelous Light." Part of the chorus is.... Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting, from the grave you rose, victoriously.
Praying for you.

Tammy On the Go said...

Your line "I watched my son die" hit me hard just now...

Thank you for pushing me uncomfortably closer to the Cross.

Michelle and Tim said...

God will bless your witness. Love you guys.

Jenn said...

Beautiful post, Stacy!

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Beautiful post, sweet friend. Full of truth.

Hope you and Spencer have a wonderful Easter as you reflect on the sacrifice of our Savior and the miracle of His resurrection and the life we have in Him...the eternal life we can look forward to, with hope...because of our Jesus.

Love and prayers to you,

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Beautiful post. Thank you.

Miche said...

How I wish we could have been there with you guys this evening. Your post has never rang more true to me than today. Next year I'm certain it will be that much more real.

I'm sure you both miss Isaac more than we all know and you are in our thoughts and prayers each day.

Charity said...

Praise God for sending His Son to die for us, which we remember in a special way today. But most of all, praise God for the victory Christ had over death - giving us the hope and assurance of eternal life - and the promise that we will be reunited with those who have gone before us! Until that time...praise God!

Thank you for another solid reminder of God's faithfulness to us!

Unknown said...

Thank you for such a beautiful post. I cannot remember how or when I came across your blog, but I have visited several times over the past months. Each time I visit, your words have ministered to my heart.

Thank you for your commitment to serve Christ and sharing the message of his love for us all. Praying for you this weekend.

Valerie and Eric said...

What a beautiful post. My thoughts are with you.

Unknown said...

I hope you and Spencer had a very blssed Easter weekend! X.

jennifer said...

i wanted you to read my post today, i wrote it in hopes of encouraging other hurting people....and I thought of you.

FSD said...

This post was beautiful, as are all your posts. But this one was especially powerful. Whether you know it or not, through your own pain and grief, you encouraged and touched many people. The theme of my church's Easter production this year was "Mary Did You Know?". Each scene of the play followed the lyrics of the song. It was beautiful. It was amazing to see it from Mary's perspective.

Praying for you.

Rachel said...

beautifully written.

Leigh Anne said...

So many true words. I can see God is using your loss to minister to so many. God bless you and your willingness to share with others.

LosingSanity said...

I absolutely love that song-I Have Been There! My friend sent it to me shortly after my daughter was born, because I was experiencing some postpartum depression and it was and remains a reminder that no matter how difficult things get, He has been there and He is with me now!

Unknown said...

I saw the Passion of The Christ a few months after Grace was born and was tripping out over the relationship between Mary and Jesus. Never saw it that way before loosing my baby.