Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Quick Update

Just wanted to let you all know we're still here :) The weather is gorgeous... just got in from a walk. Our third walk since Eliana joined our family, and she has yet to stay awake for one of them.

Eliana is doing well... seems to still have her days and nights confused, despite trying to help her with that. She also appears to be having some issues with gassiness and therefore a lot of night time fussiness when we try to put her down. She isn't a great burper (we've tried every "burping position" out there...) and she seems to want/need to be held for a bit after being fed in order to help her tummy digest a little better. Needless to say, we're not getting much sleep around here. A very welcomed dilemma (the no sleep thing) in a lot of ways, but making it hard to keep up with blogging, returning emails and phone calls... not to mention laundry, dishes, and regular household things. With Spencer returning to work next week, it has me a little anxious. In some ways I feel frustrated... I feel like I should know better about what's normal and what's not, and how to best help her. But I don't. It's difficult to be figuring this out for the first time with my second child. I think that's probably been weighing on me a bit as well.

Please pray for Eliana... that we could somehow figure out a way to help her, that her tummy would be able to digest a bit more easily, that she would get her days and nights straight, and that her sleep would be more restful than fitful.

Please pray for me... I feel really helpless sometimes in figuring out what's wrong and how to help Eliana feel better. The planner in me has a hard time with a non-routine, and the "art" of nursing is hard for a planned, practical, analytical demeanor like mine.

Please pray for Spencer... that the sleep he gets would be restful. He has been so awesome about being up with Ellie and I, helping with feedings, helping around the house, and just trying to make my load a bit lighter. I have no idea what all that will look like once he needs to go back to work next week.

Thanks for praying with us through this transition of figuring it all out :)

68 comments:

Michelle Karr said...

Holding you and your sweet family in prayer!!! It is ok if the laundry isn't done and the house is a mess, enjoy yourself and nap when she does.

becca said...

Stacy - you are alot like myself it sounds like. My oldest was like Eliana in the tummy issue department as well. Gripe Water is a life saver in situations like that when you just don't know what's wrong or how to help. My friend Devon uses it and I know you two are friends as well - it works, I guarantee it. My Moby also helped in situations where he needed to be held or comforted but I needed to get some things done - including my medical transcription job!! :) I just thought I'd share with you what worked and still works for us - I have a 4 month old in addition to my 2 year old. :)

We are praying for you and your beautiful family. It will all even itself out, I promise!!

Sarah said...

We are having similar digestive troubles with our little guy (who is almost 7 weeks)--it is so hard! We had trouble with burping too, and found that burping him more often was helpful--maybe you can try that? I try to burp Jamie every 2-3 minutes or so--the burps seem to come up more easily when they aren't buried under too much milk. Hang in there!

Lindsey Rowland said...

Keeping your family in our prayers. One little advice on the gas is a thing called grape water. You can get it at Walgreens. My cousin has a 1 mth old and she has colic and has gas she said this stuff is WONDERFUL. Another thing if you are using bottles is Doctor brown bottles they are a pain but so worth the trouble. Good luck and I hope that helps. BTW you have a BEAUTIFUL little girl.

Lindsey Rowland said...

Gripe water I said grape. Opps just saw where becca told you about it too.

Anonymous said...

Going through the same thing with my 6 week old! She cries about 30 minutes after feeding and is so inconsolable! It breaks our heart. I totally understand where you are at...I'm there too! Lots of sleepless nights. I see several posters have mentioned Gripe Water. I will have to try that.
Praying for you and your sweet baby girl. She is just darling! I love that head full of hair!

Kristin

Mauby said...

Infants Mylicon drops works wonders. I use them as an adult when I have sudden gas pain.

Have you tried this for burping? After eating, put Eliana so that her head lays against your shoulder and rubbing her left side from her hip upward to her shoulder gently over and over. This was the only way my son would burp.

You can also get a wedge for her bed. They are safe and effective for babies sleeping with digestive issues. As is swaddling. My little one had many digestive issues and swaddling was one of the most effective ways to keep him calm and get him to sleep.

Do you have her room dark? Sometimes if a baby has a weaker stomach they will also be more sensitive to light. Keeping her room dark may make it more soothing for sleep.

I hope that isn't way too much and is more helpful than a burden.

Love and prayers. :)

Ann said...

My daughter had A LOT of trouble with gas, and I tried everything - every possible burping position, burping more frequently while nursing, cutting out anything from my diet that could cause gas, Mylicon gas drops, gripe water, you name it - and nothing helped.

I realize this is not the news you want to hear, but my pediatrician kept telling me that some babies are just born with immature digestive systems and they grow out of their issues around 3 months. She was right. It was a long three months with a baby who was uncomfortable and fussy, but it did get better eventually.

So, hang in there. If none of the remedies help your darling Eliana, just know this won't last forever!

Devon said...

GRIPE WATER! and Bubble B Gone!

Email me girly!

praying for you always....

becca said...

oooh, also, sweet tea really upsets my 4 month old - if I drink it he has a rough time after nursing. Also anything with red sauce - spaghetti, lasagna, and also milk and ice cream upset him. Maybe your diet is causing some problems? It took a while to figure him out, so no fear, it will happen for you too :)

Kristin said...

With my Elijah (now 10 mos) what worked for me was spending a lot of time in our recliner...I could nurse him and we would both fall asleep until he was hungry again. It wasn't ideal - but I was willing to try just about anything to get some rest! He had terrible colic and reflux for a few months and then just like that it stopped. I have 3 and even with all that so called "experience" - each child is a new experience and you just have to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can right now! I will be praying for you!
Kristin

Kristin said...

Oh and 1 more thing...I bought something called the "Miracle Blanket". Had to but it online...and although it was $25 for a swaddler blanket it worked so well with Elijah that I bought a 2nd one to use at the daycare when I went back to work. It was a life saver for several months. We used Gripe Water too and that helped...we also used these homeopathic colic tablets that disolved in his mouth. Both can be found at a Wal-mart I think!

AmberS said...

I would try Gripe Water or Mylicon drops, both are life savers. You will get the hang of it and be an ol' pro in no time! :o)

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

praying!

Stacy D said...

Thanks for the suggestions. Have been using the Mylicon at night/over night. It helps some, but not a ton. Have been regulating my diet a bit as well. Again, it helps some, but she still struggles.

With her being 3 weeks early, I am guessing her little digestive system just needs more time to mature, too.

Keep the ideas coming :)

SUSI said...

Hi Stacy -

have been thinking about you, Ellie and Spencer daily. It is such an exciting time to get to know your little one and so challenging at the same time.

We have been struggling with many of the "is this normal" or "how can we fix things" with Max. In a way we should know and be able to compare to our first son, but we can't since we never got to this stage with Lucas. It is hard and frustrating. I guess we'll learn as we go.

Many hugs,
Susi

Anonymous said...

Being a new mom is hard. Cut yourself a lot of slack. It does get easier - and more beautiful everyday. Your situation is definitely different that most of ours but you sure have a lot of us praying and thinking of you.

Beautiful pictures, that's for sure!

Diane

Amber Stoneburner said...

I came to post about Gripe Water, but I see quite a few already did! I totally agree!~It worked really well for us, and quite a few other people I know. You can get it at the health food stores. Hope her tummy adjusts for you soon!

Sarah H said...

Your family is in my prayers. Everyone feels like that in the first month. It does get easier, I promise. The best thing you can do is love her, and I know you are doing plenty of that :)

becca said...

goodness, I keep remembering things. The Miracle Blanket worked for us too - I bought mine at Buy Buy Baby for $29.00 and the Gripe Water was there as well for $8.99.

Anonymous said...

Delurking to offer a little suggestion. My son was born @ 30 weeks and while in the NICU the nurses showed me a little trick to help him burp. While the baby's on your lap or over your shoulder, run your fingers up her spine, almost like your tickling her, made my son burp everytime :) Praying for a calm baby belly and two well rested parents. Good Luck, Laura

Margaret said...

Welcome to the wonderful land of sleepless nights and days! Just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.... you can do anything for a short period of time! The OB nurse (and mother of my own 37 weeker) in me wants to tell you a few things: 1) sleep whenever your baby sleeps-- you need to keep your sanity-- and dont worry about what your house looks like! and 2) if you are strictly nursing and have a gassy/fussy baby then try cutting dairy out of your diet-- it might take a week to kick in, but some babies just cant digest certain proteins from moms milk--- it by no means indicates that she is lactose intolerant. But you have to cut it all-- milk in your coffee and the slice of cheese on a sandwich- go hard core in the beginning and then slowly introduce it back in. You might be surprised what you find--- its a miracle worker if this is the problem!! There are also certain veggies that can be gassy when crossing over to breast milk. Check out this link: http://www.babycenter.com/0_breast-milk-interactions-chart_8788.bc

Im sure that eliminating these things for you will be well worth it if it means your baby is comfortable. (and of course it could be nothing to do with your diet--- but why not try!??) If you find it is the dairy you cut out, talk to your doctor about needing calcium supplements.
Good Luck!
All the best! I'll be watching to see if it works!! :)

Paige said...

callyn did the same thing- gripe water was recommended, but didn't seem to help. we bought the target brand of mylicon ($3 vs. about $15.)and gave her the recommeded dosage after each feeding. Worked wonders!!!

belle said...

i'm so excited for you! she is such a beautiful and precious little one. i too relied on mylicon - ALOT! hahaha, nursing was a trick that i had to re-figure out every time.

one thing that someone told me that really helped me with the days and nights being confused thing was to read the book "babywise" by dr ezzo. all 4 of my living children had very different personalities but all seemed to thrive with different aspects of his book and they all ended up being great sleepers in the end.

blessings and prayers! you are such a great mom :D

Lulu said...

Just a few suggestions, even though some have been mentioned already.

Mylicon. They sell a dye-free version. Try it. The Original formula has red dye in it, and it stains. The bottle says it is safe to give at every feeding (up to 12 doses per day), but be sure to ask your pediatrician.

Little Remedies brand makes a "Little Tummies", which is like Mylicon, but a little cheaper. My son doesn't like it as well, and it doesn't seem to work as well for him. That doesn't mean your daughter won't like it better, though.

Burp often. Soemtimes it's easier to get more gas out if it comes in lots of smaller burps rather than one or two bigger ones.

Try alternating between rubbing and patting her back. Also, try over-the-shoulder, sitting up in your lap, and laying over your lap.

My son took forever to burp. Sometimes, we had to keep rubbing and patting for almost 15 minutes before we could get it up. This was with frequent burping and Mylicon! When one of us tired out from rubbing and patting, we would switch him off as possible and let the other one have a shot. If that doesn't work, lay down in a reclined position for a few minutes, then try again. Sometimes it'll work itself up a little more, and you can rest your arms for a moment if she's not crying or fussing over the gas pains.

Try giving Mylicon or other gas medicine right before feeding. (Give the medicine, then immediately give the bottle/breast.) Or try giving in the middle of a feeding, or immediately after. If you use a bottle, try adding the Mylicon to the bottle.

We've used a wedge. (I made one by placing an old, flat pillow under the crib mattress.) It helps.

Swaddling can be very soothing to a baby fussing over gas.

Laying down reclined (propped on a Boppy or in your lap while you're in a recliner) can help your little one rest if she dozes off. This lets her rest, while the incline helps the burp come out with minimal spit-up if she still has gas in her tummy when she falls asleep.

I haven't tried Gripe water, but I've heard it is great. They sell Gripe Water and Colic tablets (and a wonderful product called "Teething Tablets" that you'll be needing before you know it) at CVS and Babies R Us, also. I can't always find them, or dye-free Mylicon at my local Walmart.

Hopefully some of these help. If they don't, just know that babies (except ones who suffer through colic or reflux) tend to get better about their burping over time. Hopefully it won't stay this way forever.

heidi marie said...

i just want to say congratulations and eliana is gorgeous! i love her full head of hair. and you'll figure out how to best take care of her in no time. you are already a wonderful mother. it just takes time to figure things out and get into a groove

Beth said...

Even after three babies, I still question myself and feel like I "should" know what to do when it comes to everything involving newborns, infants, toddlers, preschoolers. What I have learned well is that Satan has a way of sneaking in making me doubt my mothering ability - where I'm very vulnerable. So I am holding you fast in prayer, and rebuking Satan in Jesus' name!

You're learning about Ellie just like she is learning about you. And unfortunately, it is compounded by the intense emotions of being post-partum and a whole new grief and missing Isaac.

You're doing all the right things and doing them great - especially seeking help, encouragement & prayer!

I am praying for you in Michigan!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes a baby is just going to be a colicky baby. We endured 3 months of a lot of sleepless, crying nights (the baby, sometimes me!). They do outgrow it eventually. It can be common in firstborns who also pick up on mom's nervousness. As a consolation, you can remember your words of this past year, 'I would give anything to have sleepless nights'(to have a baby)... that may put it all into perspective! I don't think anyone really understands the total picture of bring home a baby until the reality of it hits. Husbands do go back to work and you are on-the-job-mom for baby's every waking hour. It has it's moments of joy and hardship and is a huge adjustment to a lifestyle that you were used to. Just go with the flow and know that babies keep growing out of every stage they enter. Best wishes for a sleep-filled night for Eli and you and your husband!

Becky

Corie said...

Praying for you. You are doing great. Don't get discouraged. Each of my children were different. Some easy/harder then the other, but NONE the same! While I looked like I should know what I was doing..God faithfully gave me different personalities in each of our children. You have been a GREAT mommy to TWO children created uniquely by their Creator. I know they both know they are LOVED. Good job mama! And congrats! xoxo

Christie, Jeff and Kennedy said...

I highly recommend trying to eliminate foods in your diet. My daughter had a lot of the same gas issues, and what finally helped was eliminating dairy and soy. (I could have hidden dairy, but absolutely NOTHING with soy in it!)

If this is something you're interested in learning about, I'd be happy to pass on what I know.

Christie, Jeff and Kennedy said...

oh, and I should have added...dairy can take up to 4 weeks to fully get out of our systems...so if you decide to try eliminating dairy, I was told to give it a full 6 weeks before deciding whether or not it worked.

Anonymous said...

First of all, congratulations! Your Eliana is just beautiful and I am so happy for you.
As the mom of 3 "bad burpers", I want to tell you what worked for us. After I fed them, I would lie them down on their backs (like for a diaper change). I would have to time it just right, because too long like that will bring about puke, but just the right time (usually about 30-45 seconds) will give you a great big burb as you sit them back up. (and I mean sit up on their own tushie, not just pick up onto a shoulder with straight body) May sound odd, but try it! It worked like a charm for us! Good luck!

Sara said...

Bless your heart. I, too, had to figure things out for the first time with my second child. It does weigh on you - it isn't easy. You will probably experience a lot of different emotions as you take care of your precious girl while missing your precious boy.

I will keep you in my prayers - and I hope Eliana gets some tummy relief. We had to do Soy formula - and we still use gas drops 8 months later!

Anonymous said...

You know what you are feeling is what every mom on the planet feels.
First timer or fifth, it seems- at least in my circle of friends-
You don't get really good at this stuff until you are "the grandma" LOL

Anonymous said...

Eliana is SO beautiful!
It looks like many other people have said the same thing...all babies are different. I have 4, and they were all different. I could not nurse my first one very well- she had trouble latching, so I switched to formula after 6 weeks of nursing, pumping, supplementing...nursing with a supplement syringe taped to my breast so she would not be having nipple confusion, etc...: )She would sleep because she was worn out from trying to nurse, and we had SO many visitors! They would all want to hold her of course, and she would sleep- then I would be struggling to feed her the rest of the day & night.
I went on to nurse my other kids all for over 8 months- one almost a year- who woulda thought! It helps that I felt more confident- but also they were just plain different situations & different personalities!: )
I also gave my other 3 kids a bottle of expressed breast milk & after 2 weeks, and my youngest took one at 1 week! ( she was not gaining weight like she should have) It can be a little break for you when your husband is home to help feed her.
My youngest- now almost 18 mos- was fussy, and they recommended I cut dairy out of my diet- I see from the comments above maybe I didn't eliminate it ALL like I should have!? Wish I had heard of Gripe water! Mylicon helped a little- but she was still fussy too. : )
Hang in there & know you are doing a wonderful job- and take it day by day- try not to worry as much about the laundry & house- I know it is so hard at first. Breastfeeding is so wonderful for the babies, and it gets easier and more natural feeling as you go on.
If it isn't too overwhelming...here are a couple more burping techniques to try:
My Mom showed us to hold the baby up on our shoulder as you typically would, and then starting at her lower back, rub up the spine gently in a circular motion with your fingertips.
Also- I have heard of sitting with one leg crossed over with your ankle on your other knee- and lay baby tummy down on the leg that is crossed and slowly & very gently rock - not bounce too fast of course! : ) up & down. Kinda hard to explain in typing- hope it makes sense! That sounds way too technical- I suppose you could just lay her tummy down in your lap & gently rub her back too!
Praying for you as you get used to each other- be gentle with yourself! Hope Eliana sleeps better at night soon!
ps...I have never read Becoming Baby wise...but I heard it was helpful to some people. I did see on the Drs. show that Dr Sears did not like that book, because some babies were not being fed often enough, as the parents were focusing more on getting them to sleep. This of course would depend on the babies age- but at just a week old, they need to nurse often, and that can help them be less gassy too.
I do not mean to make this so long-sorry!! I am certainly no expert! I just remember very well those first days. It is completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed! In fact- I had the baby blues with my first daughter because of the transition, the feeding issues, and most importantly, the lack of sleep!
Don't be afraid to ask for help, and sleep whenever you can when Eliana is sleeping! Best of luck!
Lynne

Amy said...

It'll get better! The art of nursing IS hard for someone who craves routine! This is the advice that my lactation consultant gave to me: Keep a nursing journal. Write down what time it is, which breast you started on, how long she stayed on that breast (and if you switched, how long she stayed on the other breast too), and then supplement 4-6 of the feedings in the day with expressed breast milk in a bottle. Then write down how much she took out of the bottle, and her pees and poops. If she's having pee diapers with each changing and lots of poops during the day, you can drop one of the times that you supplement. The trick is, though, everytime you supplement a feeding, and everytime she only eats on one side, you have to pump. Both breasts, even if she drained one of them. And then when you get to drop a supplement, you get to drop a pumping time! You really feel like you're in more control when you keep a nursing journal. Just a thought. :) And as far as tummy troubles, with our first son I didn't nurse, and he had horrrrrible colic. We found that switching to Playtex Drop-in bottles helped SO much because he took in less air. Just don't give up on yourself, and don't be hard on yourself if it's overwhelming... that's newborn mommyhood for ya! It'll get so much easier over time. :) God bless you and your sweet family!!

Mauby said...

Oh, I forgot! You can also gently bicycle her legs to help with gas. This also helps with constipation.

If you are looking for books, I highly recommend both Baby Whisperer books. Which are about routine but not a schedule. It really helped me (an almost insane scheduler) to relax and understand how to juggle a newborn with my own need for structure.

Anonymous said...

Our son also had problems sleeping. We borrowed a boppy pillow from a friend and put it in the crib and put him in it to sleep at night. It has helped tremendously and he sleeps so much better.

Brie1977 said...

Everyone has given you great advice already. There are some great books out there: "The Happiest Baby on the Block" is a great one as is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I have two daughters and both of these books really helped me! Also, do you have anyone that can come and stay with you when Spencer goes back to work? You mom or mother-in-law? Having that extra support in these early weeks is sooooo helpful! Good luck!

Shaina N said...

When my dear daughter was SUPER gassy, I didn't know what was wrong, and just loaded her up on Mylicon.

Something to look for is an "oversupply" of milk. It's not something that you see a lot when people discuss gasiness, but the symptoms fit my daughter to a T (I discovered it when she had a drop of blood in her stool at like 11 pm at night, SCARY! I googled it, and viola, oversupply), ANYWAY you may want to research oversupply. It's a very easy fix (you just nurse on one side for two-four hours instead of both sides, then switch) and it made a TON of difference!

Also, in the sleep issue... I don't know if you'd be open to it, but co-sleeping and bedsharing made a WORLD of sleep difference for our family. In fact, in those early weeks, people commented on how well rested I seemed for a new Mom. We're the ONLY COUNTRY in the world that doesn't bedshare in some form or another... Dr. Sears has quite a bit of research promoting the family bed and co-sleeping. I highly recommend it, and it actually REDUCES the risk of SIDS (always a plus!)!

Good luck, and hang in there Momma! You can do it! Praying for you!

P.S. Oh, and Gripe Water (purchased just about everywhere) IS A LIFESAVER.

Shaina N said...

Oh, and since I know how little time you may have, here's a few links to help out:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/oversupply.shtml

Also, if you're unfamiliar with www.kellymom.com , it's like an online breastfeeding Bible, and has saved my skin on several occasions.

Also (again), pro-biotics work WONDERS for babies and gasiness (at least my little one!). When I delivered, I had to be on antibiotics for group b strep. Antibiotics strip all the bacteria out of your digestive system -- including the GOOD bacteria. The probiotics replace that GOOD bacteria and make it easier to digest food. They work WONDERS in infants.
http://www.swansonvitamins.com/FL062/ItemDetail?SourceCode=INTL405&CAWELAID=374139950

I've not used that particular brand, but probiotics in general are WONDERFUL.
Also, I saw that a previous poster recommended Dr. Ezzo's book "Babywise" I'm sure that this might work wonders for some babies, but it's been shown to do severe damage to some whos parents follow it too closely. Focus on the Family actually has a pamphlet that they send out AGAINST this book (I've not read it, but I've read that it discusses crying it out at a very young age, and going against your mother instincts, all in the name of God). Anyway, there's a lot of new research on the dangers of crying it out at any age that's kind of startling!

Praying!!

Sheila said...

You got lots of advice so all I will add is that you are experiencing what all new parents do. You would be lying if you weren't nervous about all these new firsts.

So here's the thing, you'll be ok, you & Spencer will get thru the sleepless nights together and you'll adapt to your new normal. You will both be amazed at how much you will learn to accomplish on such little sleep! And as for the control/schedule issue, lots of moms have difficulty letting the baby lead the way (I.e nurse on demand etc) and that's ok. It's hard to set everything aside (laundry cleaning dishes) to just do nothing. It's hard! Just try to remember she will grow so quick before your eyes and the time doing nothing will soon pass in a blink.

Whatever you do know that it's ok you are a great mom, trust those instincts!

Cynthia said...

We were unlucky because gripe water did not help us (although my sons gas problem did not come until about 2 months or so. The only advice I have is to not be shy about asking for someone to come and sit with Ellie. A happy mommy anad daddy is a good thing!!! Take advantage of the help people offer, it is a blessing!!!

I'll say a prayer that things all good for all.

Sonya said...

It takes them a while to get adjusted to life in the outside world. Lauren was about 3 weeks old before she would sleep somewhat at night without wanting to be held. I was freaking out, didn't know what I was going to do when I went back to work but it all evened itself out. You might try rubbing her tummy a bit or taking a receiving blanket and wrapping it around her belly. {of course not too tight} The warmth and the pressure always seemed to help Lauren.

Jen said...

As with all baby advice, you are quite welcome to ignore this! What worked for my 5 childrens' tummy problems was to lie them on thier back, and bring their knees up to their stomach a few times, pushing slightly. Sometimes go a little to the left or right.

Hope you find something that works!

NJ said...

Another vote for Gripe water. Also, if you haven't tried it yet, try bouncing her on your knee to get the gas bubbles out. It worked like a CHARM for me every time (and was a recommendation of a lactation consultant). Just make sure you've got a spit up rag handy.

It might also help to keep a food diary so that you can look back and see what you've eaten in relation to her gas.

The best advice I can give you for when Spencer goes back to work is to not get too overwhelmed by the idea of it. It will go a lot better than what you think it will!

Good luck!

sawicky99 said...

We have an 8 week old and went through similar issues...Long story short...we lost a baby the same time you lost Issac, so it's such a blessing reading your blog...you write so many things that are in my heart too...

I work as a breastfeeding counselor and actually ended up cutting out dairy from my diet and had a completly new baby...it's only for a short while but it makes a world of difference...Read the article by Dr. Jack Newman called colic in breastfed babies for all of the answers as to other things you can do! Congratulations and prayers for this tough time!!! Hang in there! Tomorrow's a new day!

Seraphim said...

Stacy you've had loads of wonderful advice about sweet little Eliana's gas so I'm not adding to it. What I will say as one Type A Mum to another the hardest thing is relinquishing control. I so understand what you mean when you say: "In some ways I feel frustrated... I feel like I should know better about what's normal and what's not, and how to best help her. But I don't." I just want to say that you need to be gentle with yourself and your heart. You'll learn her song and she'll respond. When Spencer returns to work you will be ok I promise. Sometimes it's just an hour at a time. Lots of love to you all from Perth, WA xxx

Tonia said...

That is how our little girl was. You know, I have heard that chiropractic for babies really helps with the gassiness and colic but I have not tried it yet with a baby. We are pregnant with our 4th and we are currently seeing a chiro and will use that on our baby too. Just an idea. Who knows. I pray that you will find times of rest during the day and that you will still be able to enjoy each moment with your precious little girl!!
Tonia

Nestie Becoming_untied said...

Congratulations again! I can't stop being so happy for you, Spencer and big brother Isaac.

I heartily second www.kellymom.com as a wonderful breastfeeding/baby care resource. It saved me on many occasions as I had a VERY difficult time with my son. He wasn't a good burper either, but one thing that I haven't heard anybody else say is that maybe the baby just didn't need to burp that much. That was the case with him. His issue was more to do with reflux. Our lactation consultant was the one that diagnosed him (our pediatrician missed it totally!). Once the ped prescribed Zantac we had a completely new baby. It was a huge relief for us all and I think outgrew the reflux around 5-6 months old.

Also, I know you like to plan. But try to think in terms of routine vs. schedule. Try "E.A.S.Y" = Eat Activity Sleep You/rself. I think it is from Baby Whisperer, but I am not sure.

Accept all the help offered. Even if you find it hard to let go or embarrasing.

Sleep any time baby sleeps (It is so hard to do, but it really, really helps you function better.)

I know it sounds strange because we don't really know eachother, but I wish I was there to help you. After having such a rough time myself I have such a tender heart for other moms with newborns. Please go easy on yourself. We all learn as we go.

Anonymous said...

Are you breast feeding or on formula? If formula call your peditrician because our 7 week old son has the same issues, we kept waiting because everyone said it was normal and that he would out grow it but after 5 weeks of little/no sleep and a cranky/upset/gassy baby I called our Dr. They changed his formula and added the infant gas drops to the formula ( not gripe water, we tried that for awhile but no help because if the baby has milk/lactose intolerance gripe water doesnt help that) and its helped him so much plus we use warm water in the formula and he goes right to sleep every time. He still gets gassy but it is so much better. Dont wait to long , they have so many things you can give the baby to help with the gas plus the baby may be lactose intolerant so they have to figure it out by changing the formula to different kinds and then seeing how the baby does after 3 to 4 days on each type! I waited way too long to go see his doctor and I know how it is with not alot of sleep for both me and my husband plus how hard it is to watch my baby struggling so much. I have ended up sleeping in the nursery while my husband sleeps in our room until we can get the baby a sleep routine. Hope this helps you! Its basically colic but doctors dont like to call it that because its their digestive system getting used to the milk and alot of babies cannot drink cows milk.

Anonymous said...

It's hard not to get frustrated BUT this too shall pass. Don't sweat the small stuff-sleep when she sleeps, no matter what time of day or night The housework will always be there. We will too. You will do fine when Spencer goes back to work,altho it is scary. You are learning about her and she is doing the same with her mom and dad. It will all work out. Swaddling helped with my grandkids and their fussiness. Continuing to pray for you and yours. Hang in there, it will get better.

Amanda said...

My 3rd child is 3 months old and I still feel like there are times I don't know what I'm doing! I agree with the others, gripe water is great for fussy babies. I never had all that much luck with the gas drops and haven't been able to find the elusive colic tablets but gripe water seems to help calm their little tummies.
As far as the night/day confusion, try to keep everything as dim as possible at night and make sure to keep her in an area with lots of light during the day. Try and interact with her and keep her awake in the evening before bedtime and then at night do the bare minimum. Once my son was a few weeks old I stopped changing him at every feeding at night (unless she's pooping at every feeding, my first was like that). If you don't already have a dimmer switch in the room you care for her in at night, I highly recommend it! They are easy to install and so worth it. You can also try different nursing positions, I think some babies take in more air when nursed certain ways.
I'm sure you are but it's always a good reminder, enjoy each precious moment, they grow so fast!

Rachel Tenpenny Crawford said...

Hi,
You don't know me but I have followed your blog for a while since I lost my twin daughters Aubrey and Ellie in July of 2008.

I read this post and just wanted to send you some encouragement as well as some helpful information. I had a son before my daughters (and am pregnant again with #4) so I know exactly what you are going through figuring out this new baby. From one mom who has been there to another- You are doing a great job and everything you are experiencing is normal, even the grief that lingers, as you work all this out.

On a practical level I wanted to recommend two things to you. I discovered a product just this past weekend at the Natural Products Expo in Los Angeles called Colic Calm. It is the first natural homeopathic gripe water for colic, gas, and reflux. Normal gripe water is very high in sodium and probably not the best choice for our little ones, but this product is healthy, natural, and effective. Go to www.coliccalm.com and you can read more about it. It might really help Eliana. Lastly, there is a woman named Davis Ehler who wrote the 3 day sleep solution (www.3daysleep.com) who helped me when I had sleep problems with my son. She is amazing. I had different sleep problems with my son and he was older when I contacted her, but I am sure if you email her she will be more than happy to help you with your specific needs appropriately for Eliana's age. She works miracles. She did for me. I HIGHLY recommend her. She is a wealth of information. And very friendly.

I hope this helps.

-Rachel
www.aubreyandellie.blogspot.com

Rachel Tenpenny Crawford said...

oh yeah, I also wanted to say that what you are eating might be bothering your little one through your breast milk. Cut out dairy and maybe even wheat and see if that helps. Also certain veggies can make their bellies upset like cabbage, brocolli, onions etc. It may be worth a little experiment.

Anonymous said...

Hi! Its Lynne again!
I was returning to comment about the EASY (EAT,Activity, Sleep, Your time) routine, which IS from the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, as I see a couple people have mentioned! I wished I had read that when my first child was born. I heard about it on the Oprah show when my now 9 yr old son was around 7 mos old. I used her technique to help him sleep through the night and it worked! Consistency is the key! She has lots of different solutions for different baby personalities & scenarios regarding what parents have been trying. I have actually been looking for my book, as my 18 mo. old has been a challenge to get to sleep all night. It is partly our fault- for falling into "accidental parenting" and doing whatever we found worked to catch a little sleep : ) It is also interesting with 3 other kids ages 5, 9, & 12, and their activities, Girl Scout meetings (I am the leader) etc...her "schedule" gets interrupted so often! So I have 4, and some things just didn't work for all of them!
I wanted to tell you that I found your blog around the time my youngest daughter was born (September '08) I have had 3 miscarriages...2 right before my youngest was born. I didn't know if I could handle going through that again- I was nervous through my pregnancy. I know it is nothing compared to what you endured with Isaac, but I wanted you to know that your blog helped me deal with my feelings, and I was so grateful for being able to have our daughter , and knowing she was healthy. Often I would read your blog while I was nursing, and even pumping at all hours! I was always reminded to not fret so much about the small stuff! : ) I am SO happy you have this sweet little Eliana, and you are a wonderful Mom to 2 beautiful babies! Just know that we all understand that even while being SO grateful and happy to be so lucky to be taking care of such a gift, that it is SO NORMAL to go back & forth between feeling confident & overwhelmed at the same time! You are human, no one is perfect, you just had a major surgery, you have fluctuating hormone levels, and the number one thing is Lack of sleep! Not to mention the additional moments of grief that are also completely normal.
Do you have a friend, neighbor, relative that is nearby who recently had a baby and is nursing? My son was born a week before a close friend's baby, and there was nothing like having someone to walk through the newborn days & beyond with me! Even though he was my second child, the nursing was a whole new experience. I have lots of great friends, but I feel different now as a soon to be 39 yr. old Mom with my youngest being 18 mos old- that many of my friends are out of the baby stage...and it has been a bit more stressful. I do have a couple people that have similar aged children as me, so that helps!
Just know that right now Eliana is adjusting to you and you to her, and she may just need an extra cuddle & swaddling- I hope her tummy adjusts soon, I SO know what that is like! Before you know it, you will gradually start to feel more like yourself, and fall into your "new normal" She will eventually take longer naps as she grows, and you will be able to throw in some laundry, & do other things then- try now to rest as often as possible. Just take things in baby steps : ) Wishing you rest, and lots & lots of joy!
Sorry for going on again- I also just remember so well all the feelings of those first days & weeks!
Lynne

Lisa in NC said...

3 things that worked for us:
1. bicycle legs to get baby's gas out
2. bouncy seat with vibration
3. baby slept on mommy for the first 3 months at night time!
I got nothing done on my maternity leave either, but that was the way it had to be. Hang in there, it will get easier. She is absolutely beautiful and you are doing a great job!

Nate's Mama said...

I really want to read all the comments to see what other people suggested, but there are just too many!

You might want to consider whether your diet is affecting Ellie's digestion. There's a chance that she could have a dairy sensitivity. If nothing else helps, you may want to try cutting dairy out of your diet to see if it helps. It can take a week or so before you see results from a dairy free diet though.

Check out Kellymom for lots of good info. Here are some good links:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/food-sensitivity.html

Laura said...

I'm sorry if someone else has suggested these things; I have a mobile baby getting into lots of stuff so I don't have the time to read all the comments!

I second the Gripe water for sure! I get the "Little Tummy's" brand.

Also, as for the Mylacon, give it BEFORE a feeding, not after. That helped my daughter a TON.

Good luck and keep up the great work! My baby had her days and nights mixed up for a month. It was exhausting, but she finally got it. Sending lots of prayers!

Anonymous said...

You may want to talk to her dr .. they also make a rx gas drops if the myclon doesnt seem to help her.. also rx xantac for babies.. hang in there..

Laura said...

Hey Stacy! A couple things came to mind after reading your post. I have two boys, and parenting the second was completely different - there was no maic formula that you could use from the experience of the first child. Even for nursing, just having done it with the first child didn't guarantee smooth sailing with #2 (though I was for the most part, fotunate on that front).

I've heard gripe water works well for gassy tummies, though never personally used it.

My first son had to be held upright for 10 - 20 minutes after each feeding or it would upset his tummy. Around 10 months old, this wasn't so necessary anymore, but definitely was up till then.

Also, try a moby wrap - this will let you get moving around and things done when you are on your own with Eliana and she will love being all bundled up and close to you. It takes a little bit to get used to the wrapping, but once you get the idea, it's pretty quick to put it on.

Hope this helps a little. You're doing great!

emily said...

As a mom of three who had uncomfortable tummies, I would highly recommend an elimination diet to get rid of foods in your diet that are bothering your sweet baby girl! We are also a huge fan of the chiropractor! Seriously, I always took our children within the first couple of days of being born, and it was so helpful..... for the momma too! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us! I have been following since your days with dear Isaac! May God bless you and keep you!!!

KT said...

You are all learning a new dance. And once Spencer goes back to work it will be a another new dance. You will get it. Eliana's tummy is learning a new dance too. Just try yourself LOTS of grace. During those gassy tummy times do what you can to take care of yourself while caring for your hurting baby.(like listen to praise music, watch a favorite movie, pray your favorite scripture etc). you know all about new normals and how it can take longer than your heart and mind can take to get to that new place and then just when you are there, you have a new thing to learn. Praying you know what to focus on, what to let go and wisdom to know how to handle all of the new challenges.
Blessings.
Katie

Michele said...

Both of my boys had Acid Reflux. Try keeping her in an inclined position for at least 30 minutes after eating (boucy seat, swing, or putting a wedge under her mattres/basinett). I know most people don't want to just start giving their babies drugs, but if you are nursing, try taking Zantac yourself. It takes about 1 1/2 - 2 weeks, but it does transfer through the breastmilk (this was my mid-wife's suggestion, so I knew it was safe) and with my youngest, worked wonders. It wasn't until then that the pediatrician believed me that he had reflux (just like his older brother) and the prescribed a low dose for the baby. Good luck!

AngelsAmid said...

(huge hugs) and letting you know what you're feeling is normal. Emma had the same tummy issues for about the first 2 months. Every evening she'd cry for a couple hours. Gripe water helped, I think. Now I *almost* don't even remember those days :) Only the good parts

AngelsAmid said...

belly rubs helped too :)

jessduq_99 said...

Stacy, you are doing such a wonderful job with Eliana!
Nobody can prepare you for what it is like to have a newborn home with you and also breast feeding. It is one of the HARDEST things!! I remember one of my girlfriends saying to me, "why doesn't anybody tell you this!"
What you are feeling and going through is SO normal! (I am a planner too so I know how difficult this can be for you!). We all have days when we just don't know what to do, we cry, we have no time to even brush our teeth.... this WILL get easier. TRUST ME! It takes about 3 months for a baby to really get on some kind of routine, they seem happier, and they find their hands (which opens up a whole new world for them!). Just trust yourself and your extincts. You are her Mommy- you are what she needs.... and if you are having a hard time, remember that it is ok to let her cry for a few minutes while you get something done. Nap with her (funny huh?, cause when they nap, that is when we try to get everything done!!!). I know you may think that when your hubby goes back to work, it is going to be really rough but it is actually kind of nice cause you and your sweet baby girl will really bond and you will really get to know her. Don't blink for too long cause she is going to grow so fast. Take tons of pics and video!

Holly said...

Sending you prayers!!

I don't have a newborn and I still neglect the housework! It's ok!