As If It Were The First Time

I promise to have some one month pictures and Easter pictures up shortly... coincidentally, they will likely be the same pictures since Eliana turned one month old yesterday! We hope that you and your family had a blessed Easter, and were reminded afresh of the hope that is found in three simple words: He is risen.

Yesterday was a great day for our family. We made it to church, and through half of the service before Eliana decided that it was time to go. Spent a beautiful afternoon at my Dad's with much of my extended family. Ellie took a great nap, and was generally in a happy mood! Even though she is too young to understand what Easter is all about, or to participate in any Easter traditions, it was still special to be able to celebrate her first holiday. I am incredibly thankful that God allowed it to be a sweet day for our family.

Today, though, my heart is heavy... heavy with the missing. I've spoken countless times about the bittersweet aspects of holidays and milestones, and today is no exception. You see, while for Spencer and I, Isaac's place in our family is firmly established, it often feels as though our home is the only place where it is.

Over the past few weeks, I've heard people say to my stepbrothers, "You're an uncle now!"... as if it were the first time. I know that when those words are spoken, they are done so in excitement and love; but in those moments, I want so badly to cry out... "Now? But he already was." I know that the fact that Eliana is here and is tangible makes someone's uncle-hood, aunt-hood, or whatever else feel that much more real; but the truth is, Isaac had already established those titles. Eliana adds to them. It's difficult to be a parent of two children, but having people respond to us as if it were the first time. It's difficult thing to articulate... but if you've been there, I know you know what I mean.

Stay tuned for Easter pictures... hope to have them up later today!