Saturday, May 8, 2010

(Happy?) Mother's Day

For the past couple of years, Mother's Day has been difficult for me. Last year, I remember all of the moms in church being asked to stand. And I did... knees trembling and tears streaming down my face, as the only physical evidence of my motherhood existed in the six inch scar left from my c-section, and not in the face of a sweet little boy named Isaac. But I was still a mother, and I was proud to stand that day because doing so dignified my son.

I remember the Mother's Day before that... Just six months after losing our first baby to a miscarriage at 13 weeks, and already pregnant with Isaac, who were told was not going to live. And even then, I was already a mother.

This year, the joy of having little Ellie here and celebrating Mother's Day like any other mom fills my heart abundantly... but it still collides with the heartache of missing my son. My precious daughter will grace me with her big blue eyes and adorable smile...and I am so grateful for that. But I still long for my strawberry blond haired little boy who would be 19 months now, and no doubt would be "helping" his daddy make me a yummy breakfast in bed.

If you've been there, you know. You know that it is all of your children who define your motherhood; and that's where the joy and sadness collide.

While for many, this Mother's Day is a day of great celebration... Celebrating your mother, other mother figures in your life, and perhaps your own motherhood. For others, today is a day of missing... Missing your own mom, or missing your little ones who make you a mom.

I would encourage you to not only celebrate Mother's Day in the way you typically would, but to reach out to someone you know who may be hurting... Someone whose loss may be intensified. In a recent blog post, Molly Piper calls it "brokenhearted love." I encourage you to read what she has to say, and then extend that kind of love to someone you know. I know it will mean the world to them.

18 comments:

Kim said...

I hope your Mother's day is a sweet one, I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

I can definitely relate to the pain you are talking about. Would you pray for me, too? We've lost 2 babies and we are trying to conceive our third. Both our babies had trisome 13, and we have a 15% chance of the same thing happening again. As you know, no odds are small enough to be comfortable. We desperately want a healthy baby, and the waiting is growing hard.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, you have been a very great comfort and encouragement to me.

Kimberly

Kamaile said...

Thinking of you, Mother of two....

Devon said...

colliding it is...bittersweet too...

i am so glad that eliana will be here this year for you to hold and stand with...wishing she was not the only one...

i wanted to add too, that so many women who are dealing with infertilty might need someone to reach out to them as well...what a painful day for them.

((hugs)) sweet friend!

Miche said...

megangraceJust this morning on the way to work I was contemplating my own blog post for Mother's Day.

The pain of standing in church last year knowing our daughter who was still alive in my belly wasn't going to make it after she was born is still very fresh most days. Yet, this year I have to find some joy for our newest daughter who again is hanging out in my belly.

You are a mom to all of your children whether they are here or not as am I but I can relate to the varied emotions it brings.

Happy Mother's Day to you and all your children :)

WendyCarole said...

we had our mother's day in March (UK) but I will think of you this Sunday

Pam said...

I actually wrote a post as well on my blog. Mine is a bit different but still the hurt. I will be praying for you and know you will be praying for others.

LOVE and PRAYERS,
Pam

Dana said...

You were on my mind when I wrote my mother's day post. You are an amazing mother, loving all your babies. I am in awe. Hope you have a wonderful day.

mel @ the larson lingo said...

Thinking & praying for you this Mothers Day! ( The Mother's Day after my 2nd miscarriage was so hard, especially since that due date was in May.) I will be praying for those who desperately want to be a mother or who have lost babies, as this Sunday is such a harsh reminder of loss for some.

Trisha Larson said...

I echo your thoughts and in fact wrote a similar post yesterday. I wish that the world would recognize that this is a hard day for many and that there are many "Mothers" even if they do not have children here on earth.

Hugs,
Trisha

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Thank you for this, sweet Stacy...it really is something...that dance of grief and joy (as Angie Smith calls it). And the missing that follows us...no matter what we are doing in this life. I am missing my mother...and three of my children, as you know. Even as I rejoice for all that He has given me...

Love to you on this Mother's Day...
and prayers for you...as you stand to be recognized this year as the beautiful mother you are, with both joy and missing in your heart.

Happy Gramma said...

I will be praying for you. I have not gone through the trials you have, but have shared similar ones with my daughter.
I like this verse:
"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal." You will see that precious baby boy one day when all of our tears are wiped away.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
Come visit me at:
www.happyfamilyhappykids.blogspot.com

The Writer Chic said...

Stacy, thank you for this post, and for maing me one of the recipients of your reaching out. Thinking of you and your entire family this weekend. xoxoxxo

Sonya said...

Happy Mother's Day!

crystal.z said...

Stacy, thank you for this beautiful post. I hope the sweet memories of your Isaac and the soft touch of Eliana bring you peace today.

The Lums said...

hi! i don't know you and i'm not even sure how i came across your blog..but i wanted you to know that my heart broke for you as a read about and saw pictures of you dear son, issac. Thank you for sharing you story with so many!

Kelli said...

I just found your blog today and read your story of your sweet son and your new daughter. I don't even know you, but see your strength in your words from your blog. Thank you for being the person and the mommy that you are. I am praying for you and your family. I will continue to follow your blog for inspiration and as a model of the mommy I would like to be for my girls.

Kelli

GGdevine said...

Thank you for sharing Molly's blog entry - after reading it I sent the link to my friend who lost her baby girl after 6 months of heart problems... and I let her know all the times that I cry thinking about her daughter, and also the times that I think of her and she makes me a better mom.

I have always been pretty open with her - letting her know that I am thinking of her and her baby girl- but i never was really specific- so this time I was - and I know it will make her happy thanks to you and Molly.... all thanks to Isaac of course! He continues to spread love around the world!

Your blog has always inspired me. And let me tell you- that your daughter is literally one of the most BEAUTIFUL babies I have ever seen - STUNNING!

Holly said...

Mother's Day is very bittersweet but regardless I'm glad to be a mother to ALL my children!!