Sunday, August 16, 2009

Out of the Mouths of Babes

When I wrote on August 7 about how difficult it was for me not to be able to go to the cemetery, it made it a bit easier knowing that several of our friends visited Isaac that day. One particular couple, along with their two children, have visited Isaac on other occasions as well. Their oldest, who will be four in December, was very aware of my pregnancy, mentions my necklace with Isaac's footprints each time I see her, and recognizes Isaac as our son.

She has asked questions about Isaac on a few occasions, like where he is and why he isn't here... and through tear-filled eyes, I have made every effort to explain it as gently as I know how. This past Friday as my friend (this little girl's mom) and I were talking, she looks up at me and asked,

"Do you miss Isaac?"

"Oh yes, I miss him very much," I said.

With a smile on her face, she then replied, "But you'll get to see him again in heaven."

I smiled back and agreed, "You're right. I will. That's a very good thing."

We then proceeded to discuss the numerous ways one could get to heaven... on a plane, a hot air balloon, or maybe even a pony! Of course we know that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him...but boy do I love the creative mind of a three year-old!

I was just so struck by the innocence of her understanding and faith, particularly with a topic that is anything but innocent. There is nothing that seems to break one's innocence more than to realize that we live in a world where babies die. But rather than being afraid, this precious little girl was certain of where Isaac is, and certain that we'll see him again. What hope.

This past week I learned of two people I know in real life who lost a baby. The first is my friend, Sarah, from high school. Her precious Andrew was born earlier this week after his heartbeat couldn't be found a few days prior. Sarah is walking this journey of grief with such beauty and grace, and her sweet Andrew is absolutely beautiful.

The second is my friend Matt, who's six month old nephew, Sean, passed away suddenly earlier this week. We attended his funeral yesterday, and he was buried just a foot away from Isaac. As I sat in the service yesterday, I watched this mother (my friend Matt's sister) sit in front of her son's little casket during the service... touching his face, stroking his hand. As this service, which was beautiful, ended, guests were dismissed so that the family could have a final few minutes with Sean. When the funeral director said that, my heart just sank and I felt the biggest lump in my throat. I remember what that's like. A final few minutes...when what you're truly longing for is countless more.

Please pray for these families, as the freshness of their grief is certain to be so raw, excruciating, and even almost suffocating at times. And please pray that God would lay the hope of heaven on their hearts in a fresh way each day.


Amy said...

My Natalie died at 2 days old a little over 3 years ago due to a birth defect. Once, my then 4 year old niece noticed the necklace I wear for Natalie and said out of the clear blue "You must miss Natalie" "Yes I miss her very much Bella" "Now she's in Heaven and looks like a pretty dolly and she's wearing a pretty white dress with Jesus". I had a very hard time not losing it there in front of her. Little one's thoughts and ideas are so pure and sweet. I have been following your family since right before Issac was born and I am so thankful you are so honest and is nice to know I'm not the only one going though these thought and emotions!! Thank you for allowing us such a special glimpse into your family! Love lots, Amy

Anonymous said...

This post bought memories flooding back. Of my family cuddling my 4 week old baby brother and my mother being unable to let him go.
Of the countless tears shed and hearts being utterly broken.
As a child it was hard to understand why babies die, for a parent it must be incomprehensible.
Stacy I will be praying for your friends, and as always, for you and Spencer. xxxx

Trisha Larson said...

I have 4 other kids. They were 9,6,3 & 3 when Nate died last year. My then 3 year old twins kept telling me that it would be okay because they were going to get their unicorns and fly up to heaven to bring Nathan back. Then, just the other day we were laying at the park looking at the clouds (they looked like cotton balls that day). My twins started fighting about which cloud Nate lived on. All my kids count him when they count the number of people in our family and they always make sure that they tell anyone who asks how many kids we have that we have 1 more in Heaven.

Our family has had to have A LOT of discussions on Heaven. It's sad that they have lost their innocence but it's also good that Heaven is a reality for them. It's not just a place people talk about. It's where their brother lives.

So sorry to hear that you know others that are experiencing the same pain. I'm so sorry. They are lucky to have you to help walk them through. It helps so much to be with someone that "gets it".

Just stopped and prayed for ALL of you!


Franchesca Cox said...

I will be praying for your friends who have lost their babies. I remember the funeral and how you can't believe that this is your life. Until I'd read this, I'd been blocking out certain parts of Jenna's funeral from my memory. Some parts are just too painful. She went to Heaven a little over three months ago. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Angela said...

Praying for your friends, and still for you. :)

Holly said...

I love the sweet innocence and honesty of children. They seem to know a lot better than us on some things! I am praying for your friends.

Lindsay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsay said...

I have followed your story since before you lost your sweet Isaac. From where I stand, you have dealt with this very gracefully and reflected God's love to those around you.
I am so glad that sweet little girl brought you some comfort.
My first child is seven and asked yesterday if she grew up, and then died and went to Heaven, could she go back to being a child, so that she could grow up with Zoe.
It melted my heart to imagine them getting to grow up together after all.
Thank you for this post.

Stace said...

I've been following you silently since before Issac was born. I hoped to never have to walk in your footsteps, but my Connor passed away unexpectedly at 2 days just a month ago. Your words have given me strength. And I agree... those last minutes were the hardest because they weren't enough.

Jeff & Leza Strayer said...

Your friends Sarah and Matt are both in my prayers. I cannot imagine the pain of experiencing those last few minutes with your child. I have lost several unborn babies due to miscarriages and I long everyday for the chance to stroke their hair, hands, and faces. I too know that someday when My Father calls me home I will meet each of them.

I pray for you daily and pray that soon your home will be filled w/ the sound of a needy infant.

raechel said...

I will definetly be praying for your friends during this time of grief. As always, you and Spencer are in my prayers as well!

Sarah said...

Thanks so much for asking for prayer for us in your blog, Stacy. We're keeping you guys in our prayers as well, and especially for the Golf Tournament that's coming up. Love, Sarah

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Praying here, sweet friend...