Monday, June 30, 2008

A Walk to Remember

Yes, I happen to like this book by Nicholas Sparks... well, most books by Nicholas Spraks, really. But this was a different sort of walk.

On Saturday, Spence and I went up to Sugarloaf Mountain for a hike. I had looked at the trail maps online and found that the white trail at the top of the mountain was a nice 2 1/2 mile loop... sounded about right. Well, something wasn't measured quite right, because I can tell you that it was a LOT longer than 2 1/2 miles! We eventually figured out a little shortcut (after getting a little lost) back to the car. So, our walk was a bit memorable because we got a little lost, but also because I was reminded of a truth I greatly needed to hear.

It was nice to get out on a beautiful day and do something different. There's something refreshing to me about being face to face with God's creation... wheteher it's being in the woods, on the top of a mountain and being able to see for miles, or at the beach with the crashing waves. While we were there, I was reminded of Matthew 6, where Jesus tells us not to worry, and makes a point of talking about the birds, the lilies, and the grass of the fields, and how if they are taken care of, then how much more will we be? It was a wonderful truth to remember and to be reminded of. Here's a picture from our walk...


Lately one of the things I have wondered through this is how am I going to be okay? I know that I will be; God promises to never leave us or foresake us...but how? How am I going to be okay when I go back to teaching in August? How am I going to be okay when we go to meet with the people at the cemetery and the funeral home? How am I going to be okay the night before my scheduled c-section? And how am I going to be okay in that moment where Isaac takes his last little breath, should God decide to call him home?

I don't really know. I do know that God gives us enough grace for each moment, and that He just wants us to trust that He is who He says He is. He has surrounded us with wonderful people who are being His hands and His feet to us every day.

On Wednesday we have another ultrasound with the perinatologist at the maternal-fetal medicine group. In some ways I am excited becuase we'll get to "see" our sweet baby boy. I am hoping I'll get the chance to both see and feel him move at the same time. Would you please pray for us for that ultrasound? Would you please pray for a miracle, that God would heal Isaac's little spine, unteather his spinal cord, grow his lungs, and heal the omphalocele? Would you please also pray for wisdom for the doctor as he reads and interprets what he's seeing, and that he could clearly convey that information to us and the implications for Isaac? Would you please pray for wisdom for Spencer and I as we think through all that we hear, as we'll be meeting with the neonatologist the following week at the hospital where I'll be delivering to discuss our wishes for Isaac's birth? And would you please pray for continued comfort and peace for us, grace for each step of the journey, and the courage to love little Isaac as perfectly as possibly while he's with us?

14 comments:

M said...

I'm praying for you and your sweet baby boy.

Aunt Robin said...

Dear Stacy and Spencer- i am and will continue to pray for both of you and for sweet little Isaac.God will help you through whatever you need to go through.

Lauren said...

We are praying and believing for more miracles. With love and hope...

Lauren and family

amrisser said...

Praying for you three :)
Hugs,
amy

Megan said...

Dear Stacy,
I 'met' you on the nest, while following your fitness advice on the health board. I am encouraged by your faith, and I have been praying for you. God is still good, and he can create good even in the uncertainty. I'll be praying for you, your husband, and Isaac.

banbear2 said...

I'm from the nest pl board, I've been following your posts and blog but never commented before. I wanted to tell you that I am praying for all 3 of you. I greatly admire your strength and your faith.

Sheila said...

Stacy:
The picture from Sugarloaf is great and way to go walking 2+ miles! You and Spencer continue to be in my prayers, praying for a miracle for little Isaac and that God grants you the strength to handle all that comes your way in the next few months.

Sheila

alihutch said...

Stacy, your faith overwhelms and inspires me. I only hope that I would face such trials with 1/2 the grace that you have.
I am saying a prayer for you, Isaac and Spencer.
Alison (Yellowcar from the Nest)

Devon Rene said...

just wanted to let you know i am praying for you...

there is no way to ever really prepare for saying goodbye to your child. just trust that if the time comes, god will grant you the grace and strength to see it through.

i know because i was there just a few short months ago. today, i am healing and trying to pick up the pieces trusting that god is walking each step of this journey with me.

i will be praying that he would heal your sweet issac. he is the god of miracles. i believe that with my whole heart.

thinking of you...

~devon

Mark & Amanda said...

My heart just aches for you. You, Spencer and little Isaac will continue to be in my prayers.

Jessica said...

I am praying for your family.
Isaiah 40:31

melissa said...

we're praying for you in chicago!! stace...you and spencer are amazing.

Corie said...

Just found your blog. Praying for you during this difficult time. May you feel Gods Grace each and every moment of the day as your are filled with so many thoughts.

Lacey said...

I know that you are already aware that you are touching so many people's lives with your story. I want to thank you for sharing. You have been blessed in so many ways and I love that you are able to still remember those blessings through trying times. Your faith has inspired me. I prayed for you, your husband and for Isaac and will continue to. You have made me want to know God better than I do. He is good and I pray He holds you tightly in the palm of His hand while you walk through this journey together.