Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Does It Mean?

I want to thank each of you for your encouraging comments, e-mails, and phone calls over these last two days. Sometimes I sit here and just hit the refresh button on my computer hoping that another message will come through and will encourage my heart.

It has been a long two days... longer than any two I can remember, really. Yesterday I watched some videos on You Tube that a church put out. They had to do with what happens when life hands you "Plan B" because your orginal plans and dreams were shattered. They interviewed Todd and Angie Smith, whom I have mentioned before (and sweet Angie even took the time to comment on my last post... THANK YOU!)and I was just captivated. I felt like so many aspects of their story is our story, though their's has unfolded a bit more than ours currently has.

One of the things they talked about was living in this balance of maintaining hope in who God is and the fact that He could at any time perform a miracle and fix all of this, with the need to face and plan for the reality that lies ahead. They put into words the exact tension that my heart and mind are experiencing. I have included the videos at the end of this post.

What does that mean? What does that look like? How does that play itself out when you're at the baby pool with your friend and her kids, and the other moms notice that you're pregnant and start asking if this is your first (I never know how to answer that), when you are due, etc. How do you answer? How will that play itself out when I go back to work in August at a new school, with a brand new staff, looking very pregnant? How do I live out that balance day after day in these next 18-20 weeks so that God continues to be honored by my thoughts, words, and actions?

In the short time I have had to think about that, I haven't figured it out. I feel like God is just saying to me that I don't have to... I just need to bring it to Him. He will show me.

Would you continue to pray with us? Would you pray that God would heal our baby boy and make him whole? That He would straighten his spine, un-teather his spinal cord, heal his abdomen, and cause his lungs to grow? Would you pray that God would teach Spencer and I how to live in the balance of having hope in what God could still do (because nothing is too big for Him), with the reality of what may lie ahead? Would you pray that He would help us to enjoy every moment with our sweet little boy while he is here, whether that's in the womb or out? And would you please pray that we would love well through this? We continue to cherish your encouragement, your prayers, and your friendships.

Smith Family Story Part 1




Smith Family Story Part 2




Smith Family Story Part 3

10 comments:

Stephanie said...

praying, praying, praying! I thought of you when I went to sleep last and when I woke up this morning.
Thank you for letting us go throught this with you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Stacy,
Thank you for sharing your story. I too am pregnant and three weeks ago doctors found a large cystic hygroma growing on my precious little baby. My husband and I are waiting for the results of several tests and do not know what the future holds. I don't need to describe to you the pain and the worry in my heart right now. Reading your blog and about your unwavering faith, and also listening to the beautiful music you have posted.. it has given me comfort and has brought me closer to God, and for that I am very grateful. You are truly doing His work. May God bless you, Spencer and Isaac. Love, Lesley

Monica said...

I'm going to have to quit reading your blog at work...I'm a crying mess right now. I can't tell you how feverently I am praying for you and Spencer and your baby boy. My heart literally aches for you guys. God is big enough to fix this...He's also big enough to give you the strength to overcome if He choses not to...the balance between hoping for a miracle and preparing for a different outcome is one of the most difficult places to be.

melissa said...

Stacy,

We are praying for you and Spencer and the precious one you are carrying! I prayed specifically for you this morning that you would see God working and experience Him more fully then you ever have before and that He would heal your son.

Melissa Coniaris

Kristin (kekis) said...

Of course we are praying for you and with you. There's really no need to ask because it's happening.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 "11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Stacy, He has a plan for your family, and He hears your cries. It doesn't make sense now - and may not for a very, very long time - but God does love you, Spencer, and Isaac. Stay strong and we'll all be here for you.

Kirsten said...

Stacy,

We are still praying. And I relate to every word because it describes my journey too. Every comment, post, email was such comfort to my gaping open wound. And the spiritual battle and pull between hope and reality. I've been there. You are not alone.

I am praying for a miracle for your little boy. God is carrying you, Spencer, and your baby.

I'm so glad to read that you are treasuring every day you have with your precious boy. No mother ever knows how many days they will have with thier child - but some circumstances make every day an even more special gift.

God will take care of August...try to rest in His arms today.

Blessings,
Kirsten

MJTjohnE said...

I'm a fellow nestie (MKJ116), and saw a link to your blog. As mostly a lurker, I've seen you give great advice and you've helped so many nesties, so it is now that I wish we could all do something for you. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you all, and especially for your little sweet pea.

Amy said...

Praying for you.
I want to tell you something and I don't know how to say it without both sounding negative and weird. So here's my story (the closest I have to yours...)
My brother was born premature and had a stroke at birth. He ended up having several problems that lead to delays both physically and mentally. But my brother, special needs and all, was the greatest gift I have ever been given. I don't know if he could have been the same child without the special needs.

He was the happiest child. Ever. He loved everyone. So deep and so strong. He had the most incredible faith as well.

I know you are at a point where you are not sure what will happen at all. But I know in my heart this baby, regardless of the outcome, is the greatest gift you will ever receive. I don't know if what I said made any sense to you but I am thinking about you and praying for you and hoping all turns out just the way it should.

God bless!

Jen said...

Here's a comment for your refresh button *wink*

My Lord has promised good to me
His Word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
(John Newton)

Rest easy in His arms, darling.

Monica said...

Stacy, I'm so glad you are drawing comfort from Angie and Todd having walked this road before you and I'm SO glad she responded to your cry out to her (I saw your post on her blog just today).

Loving you and praying your through these dark days, hoping for miraculous healing.