Sunday, December 7, 2008

Two Months

Today, Isaac would have been two months old.

It's snowing here in Maryland today, and Isaac isn't here to see it. He isn't here to see the twinkling Christmas lights all over the neighborhood, or the beautiful sunrise I saw on my way to work last Thursday. Oh, I really wish he was. I miss him so much.

Today, instead of taking him to church with us, we'll visit Isaac at the cemetery. When we were there last Sunday, I remember turning to Spencer and saying, "I can't believe that this is really our life... that this is what we do now on Sunday mornings." In some ways, it still seems a little surreal; yet most days, the reality of Isaac's absence is extremely edvident and incredibly heavy on my heart. Thank you for continuing to pray for us.

Dear Isaac,

I want you to know how much Daddy and I love you, and how much we miss you. Our hearts hurt. Today you would have turned 2 months old, and we're so sad that you're not here. We think about you so often. Please know that you will always hold a most special place in each of our hearts. We miss you.

I love you, sweet Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

"...And I'm the one who's loved you all your life... all of your life."

~ Meredith Andrews

44 comments:

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Still praying...He's so beautiful, Stacy, I love your pictures.

Susan said...

Oh Stacy, praying for you today and every day. Isaac is so beautiful. I am SO glad you have photos like this one. But, I know that you'd rather have your baby than all the pictures in the world. I hurt for you. May God Bless you today and give you a little peace and joy.

Susan in Indiana

A said...

Just wanted to say I am praying for you each day, hoping God can continue to give you all peace and comfort in your hearts. Your blog is such a beautiful expression of your love for Isaac...seeing pictures of him always makes me smile and warms my heart :) God bless, always.

Shannon said...

Once again I'm crying as I read your blog. I will also pray for you today.

Rachel said...

Stacy -
Today will be hard! We just "celebrated" our daughter's two month anniversary in heaven, so I know what you're going through. We went to her grave yesterday evening and placed an ice candle on it. We all screamed "We love you Felicity!" at the tops of our lungs as we gazed at the stars shining. I hope you have a day of gentle reminders and that others who are around you physically will share with you that they are missing Isaac. Life is hard, but God is good!

Emily said...

Stacy,
My heart hurts for you today. I am still praying for you. I love the picture you posted today. The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation is coming to our hospital in a couple of weeks to meet with our team of doctors, nurses, and Child Life Staff so that we can offer this to our families also. I wish so much it was something that we would never have to offer to them, but I'm glad that they will have beautiful photos like the ones of sweet Isaac. Thank you for your suggestion that I contact them.

erin w. said...

stacy, i am praying for you and spencer. i admire your strength in grieving during this time. thank you for sharing from your heart.

Monica @ Writer Chic said...

Love you Stacy. Hope we bumb into each other again soon to chat on FB. After I told you yesterday that I'd spend some time in prayer for you on my way to TN, I got stuck -- litterally, you'll laugh, I hope at the pics I'll have up on the blog later -- in a snowstorm, and so sitting there, going nowhere fast, Mighty to Save came on the radio, and I just sat there and bawled.

Isaac was so loved, Stacy, by SO many. So are you. Hugs. M

TresNinos said...

Continued prayers for you & Spencer. God's peace

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and praying for you daily. Please take care.

Open your Eyes. said...

Your such a beautiful mom through and through! x.

Amanda said...

Stacy,

I continue to pray for you and Spencer. I know how very difficult each day is for you, but you are surviving. Today, my Gavin would be 8 months old and instead I am also going to the cemetery. I am so sorry for your pain.

Blessings,
Amanda

Jocelyn said...

Stacy, I just realized that you live in Maryland. I too live in Maryland and yes we did have snow! I think and pray for you and your family everyday! This is such a difficult time and I don't have the words to take away your pain, but I do have the prayers for peace for your family! Thinking of you!!1

mommyof5 said...

my heart aches for you!!! We are praying....

Erika said...

Stacy, praying for you on this very hard, very bittersweet day. Many, many hugs.

Amber said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac! We love you.

Rachel E. said...

Continuing to pray for you, Stacy. Isaac is so perfect! Thank you for sharing these pictures with us.

AngelsAmid said...

Happy 2 months old Isaac. You still touch my heart everyday.
Love,
Krista

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

Praying for you and your husband as you miss Isaac each and every day.
We just passed our second "angelversary" without our son and I'd love to tell you that it gets easier.. but you'll always miss him, and your heart will always yearn for him..
I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you both go through this journey.

Stephanie said...

We all miss him... not as much as you but how I wish he were here with you!!!
He is so beautiful.

Danielle Holsapple said...

Happy 2 month birthday sweet boy!

Kathlyn said...

My heart hurts for you. I remembered you and your sweet baby Isaac in my prayers today. Continued prayers for strength during this time and all the times ahead.

Becky said...

Stacy, I'm thinking of you, your husband, and your beautiful Isaac today

Julie said...

Continuing to pray for your hurting heart. Wish I could take away the pain...but know it takes time. Lots of time.

Megan said...

hang on Stacy...."you can do all things through Christ..."

i will be praying. what a sweet little man you are a mommy to. until you meet again.....

grandmaof6 said...

Praying that you found a little peace today as you remember your angel Isaac.

Mrs B said...

Oh Stacy...the hole in your heart is so evident. I am so sorry this pain belongs to you. I wish somehow I could give you your son back. I wish I could change your life as you have helped so much in mine. Thank you for your real thoughts and emotions. God bless you.

Foreverloves said...

God bless you Isaac.

I can't believe it's been two months.

The picture you posted - he looks so amazingly perfect, it's heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

Dear Stacy, Sorry to have been MIA for a bit. I am just catching up on your blog now.

You must be in the thick of so much pain. I wish your Isaac was here too to experience this life. We will keep praying somehow your heart becomes lighter.

You are so loved, and your Isaac is so beautiful in so many ways. My heart is with you. Much love, Jill

Michelle said...

Oh Stacy, my heart just breaks for you. I'm so sorry that you have to have this pain. You're still in my thoughts and my prayers.

Sam said...

I cannot even imagine. You dont know me, and I only know what I read on here, but I have your button on my blog because I think of you constantly and like to check and see how you are doing. I have an almost 6 year old(In Jan.) and a 10 month old and I dont think I could do it, I admire you and I know its easy to say that I pray for you, but I really do. My heart aches for you. Just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

A beautiful letter from a beautiful mom. Thinking of you today and always.

Laura said...

Happy 2 month birthday sweet Isaac. My heart aches for your family as they miss you so much.

Anonymous said...

My heart just breaks...I don't have any words, just know that someone else is reading this and is praying for peace for you and Spencer. Isaac's life DID matter, he was here and was present and he mattered.
Alicia

Jen said...

I remember saying the exact same thing to my husband after we lost Abby. "Is this really our life?"

unfortunately, it is. It's never easy. Thinking of you.

Stephanie said...

Praying each and everyday Stacy!!! He's just beautiful and I will always remember him and your journey!

Jennie Bender said...

Praying for you...

The Knight Family said...

Praying for you every day..
~~~
Cindy Knight

Rachel Mead said...

You are both in our continued prayers and thoughts!

Kerrin said...

Stacy, I found your blog this morning and I've been crying and praying along with you all day as I've read it. Your story reminds me so much of my best friend, whose baby girl was born into heaven on December 3, 2007. We just recently celebrated her birthday, and her little brother is going to be born in 8 weeks. We look at my friend's little girl, Amanda, as an angel looking down over all of us. I know she and Isaac are with Jesus and celebrating the season of his birth with us, even though we can't see them. Hugs and Prayer.

Walking by Faith said...

Casting your name at the feet of Jesus! He is such a beautiful baby...that picture is too sweet for words~Heidi

Michelle R said...

Stacy, just want you to know I love you and we will NEVER forget Isaac. He is safe in Jesus' arms and I know how much you long to hold him again. Know that he is rejoicing with his Master and you loved him as fully as you were able. We're told in the Bible that in heaven we will remember our lives on Earth. Isaac knows that you loved him completely, with your whole being, and God knows it too. Take comfort that he is whole and loved even more than you could ever love him. Your love and role as his mother will NEVER be without worth.

heidi marie said...

you are in our hearts and prayers as always. God Bless...

Kori said...

I was so glad to see your letter to Isaac today. For some reason, I ALWAYS access your blog through the Dear Isaac one - I have both bookmarked, but I always start at his. I've debated asking if you were planning to write more to him, as he is still watching and reading, but can understand why you may not want to do that. As ever, my heart hurts for you, and Spencer, and for Isaac. But as a mom, mostly for you. Sweet, precious boy. I think of him often and I am a total stranger. That is powerful.