Friday, December 5, 2008

Another generous offer and other news...

We are overwhelmed by the number of generous offers we have received from people to help us fundraise money for Isaac's playground... from food, to kitchen gadgets, to beautiful tiles, and now make up and face care products! There's another offer on the table, and I hope it will continue to help you with your Christmas shopping!

Elizabeth is a Mary Kay consultant and has offered to donate a portion of her sales to Isaac's playground when the "Isaac's Playground" is mentioned when ordering.

The fundraiser will run now through December 15. Orders will be shipped so that you are able to have them by Christmas.

20% of the sales will go towards Isaac's playground. If you are interested in booking a web/catalog show, $10 will be donated for each show booked. If you desire to sign up as a Mary Kay consultant, contact Elizabeth and she will personally donate $25 towards the playground.

As an FYI, all orders of $40 or more will receive a special gift. Shipping is complimentary.
If you are interested in placing an order, please go to Elizabeth's personal Mary Kay website at: www.marykay.com/estank

When placing your order, please include "Isaac's playground" in the comments section.

In other news, we received Isaac's birth certificate in the mail on Wednesday. I had been anxiously awaiting this because I was excited that he would have this same certificate that other babies have... a verification that he was here and that he was alive.

You can understand my shock, then, when I saw the word "DECEASED" stamped across his birth certificate. I jsut started bawling.

Of course I know he's deceased, thank you very much. I know he's not here... the quietness of my house, the emptyness of my arms, and the heavyness of my heart remind me of that every day. There are death certificates for that sort of thing. I just wanted so badly for him to have what other babies have, and for it not to be tarnished by that one word that cut so deeply into the wound on my heart that's already there.

Like I've mentioned before, the reminders of Isaac's absence so often come in unexpected places... like, of all things, a birth certificate.

Please continnue to pray for us, particularly right not just for protection of our hearts... there are so many reminders of Isaac's absence and they seem to be multiplying now that the holiday season is here.

44 comments:

Laura said...

So hard to see those words in black and white. I am continuing to pray for you and Spencer.

sandi said...

Call the office of VItal records and have them make you a new one without the stamp. I think that was heartless on their part. Explain to them you want his BC to be just that. You have a death certificate for the latter.

I am so sorry you had that to deal with on top everything else!

Bridget =) said...

OMG. That is heart wrenching. You live in the state of MD, correct? I think I would be immediately on the phone to demand a NEW birth certificate one without that horrendous mark on it!!! I am SO sorry that something you were looking forward to was marred... =(

Julie said...

So sorry to hear about the birth certificate. I know that's not what you need right now.

But Isaac will not be forgotten. You have immortalized him in your blogs for those that don't even know you. He will always be in our hearts as well.

Ya'll continue to be in my prayers.

Melissa Jo said...

I can not imagine your pain, please know that you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers! God Bless you!

Devon Rene said...

i've told you this already but that is just awful that they would do that to your little boys birth certificate...i am so very sorry. it was mean and just plain insensitive on their part.

know i pray and think of you throughout the day. that god would make himself real and known to you, that he would cover you with his blanket of peace...

love you sweet friend.

Mrs B said...

Stacy,

I was sent "Your blog is fabulous" award and I have to send it to five people after posting my five addictions. I love you blog and your honesty (you were one of my addictions) so I am passing the award to you!

http://essentialandinconsequential.blogspot.com/

God bless!

Laura Ann said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear this and I am continuing to pray for you guys. Do you think you could call the office that generated it and see if they would mind printing you another one, without it on there. I bet they would be willing to help you. I totally understand why you would want it without that on it. Bless your heart!

Kelsey said...

Oh I am so sorry. My heart is heavy for you. I am praying for His peace on you today.

Tonia said...

Stacy,
My heart breaks for you! I pray that you will feel God's presence right now. That you will know he is there and that it is okay for him to know your true feelings. He can handle it. Just know that no matter what, he loves you. He is hurting with you. I pray that you will feel the hope that we have in him. That you will one day see your son again. I have a friend that along with her husband and 2 son's just celebrated what would have been their first son's 5th birthday! They had to let him go when he was 2 days old. I cannot fully understand what you or her are going through but they spoke in church this last Sunday and shared about the hope that God has given them and the Peace that he gave them when there shouldn't have been. I just pray that you will be able to feel some comfort.

Take care!!
Tonia

Alexandra's Mommy said...

I am so sorry that your excitement over his birth certificate had to be such a hard thing to deal with! I wish that you could have just had that little birth certificate to have and to hold to remember those precious minutes with sweet baby issac! we are thinking about you all!

Ashly said...

That completely sucks! and there's no other way to put it. Call them right now and have them fix it. I'd give anything to have a BIRTH certificate for Brooks-all we got was a DEATH certificate=( Get that straightened out as soon as you can-I'm so mad for you, can you tell?
I'm praying for you!

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm sorry Stacy. I can, as a banker, explain that birth certificates of babies that have died have deceased stamped across them for a particular reason.

It is a particularly horrendous thing, but a very common way to comit identity theft is to use the identity of a baby that died shortly after birth. The deceased stamp is actually placed on all birth certificates ordered after someone has died, as an important protection.

I tell myself that however horrible it is to look at Gabriel's birth certificate with deceased on it, it would be so much more horrible to have his beautiful identity stolen and abused.

I can comment as a banker, but as a mother, it absolutely broke me, and I was expecting it. I'm sorry.

kjames106 said...

Awww, sweety, I am so sorry. That is pretty cold-hearted. I pray Fort Knox around your hearts. You are in my prayers.

Monica @ Writer Chic said...

I totally agree with Sandi....you have every right to have a clean certificate. But if what Mrs. Spit said is true...ugh. This is just not the way it's supposed to be. He was born, and THEN he died. The events weren't simultaneous..... Stac, my heart tightened when I read that. I'm so sorry, hon. Love you!

cynthia said...

While I understand the reasoning that was given I think that they should still issue one without that to the parents.

I am sorry that you had to deal with that. I am praying for you and hope one day that you can smile again, even if it is through tears.

mommyof5 said...

I am so sorry you had to get that like that. That is just not right. I wish and pray that they would think about the parents feelings before doing something like that.

We are praying for you both. I know God is holding you both right now and carrying you when you can't walk alone.

Valerie said...

Oh Stacy. I am so very sorry. I am crying for you. I cannot imagine how much that must have hurt you.

Sending prayers for you and Spencer...

Emma's Mommy said...

My heart is breaking for you Stacey. That is just awful. Call the Office of Vital Records (at least that is what it is called here) and have them send you one with out the big ugly stamp across it. Surely, they can do that. A death certificate is an entirely different document. He WAS alive!!! You need a birth certificate to show that. My prayers go out to you!!!

Al said...

My stomach turning as I read this post is nothing compared to how you must be feeling. I am so very sorry. I agree with PP that they can probably send a new birth certificate, but I know that may not comfort you today. Sending love and prayers from San Diego for comfort and peace to fall on you and Spencer.

Christine:) said...

Ugh, seeing something like that in writing just cuts even deeper than anyone would think. I would contact the birth certification place and ask for a new one! I am so sorry. Thinking and praying for you each and every day.
Christine

Anonymous said...

DEAR STACY AND SPENCER,
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU GUYS. SO SORRY TO HEAR THE NEWS ABOUT THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE THAT SEEMS SO HEARTLESS WE READ YOUR BLOG REGURALY.
LOVE JANET AND JOLEA ♥
MAY GOD BE WITH YOU THROUGH THIS HARD POINT IN UR LIFE AND ALWAYS

Danielle Holsapple said...

I placed an order for some Mary Kay!
I am so sorry you had that horrible experience with the birth certificate. ((HUGS))

Jill said...

Oh how shocking & upsetting! I hope that you can get a different birth cert for sweet Isaac.

FSD said...

How cruel! I don't understand why they would do such a thing when the death cert serves that purpose. I hope they'll issue you a new one w/o that blemish on it. I'm so sorry. Praying for you.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

I'm so sorry...for yet another thing that was stolen from you. Praying His comfort and peace...

Liz and Will Timmerman said...

Stacy,

My heart goes out to you - what a horrible thing to have on your son's birth certificate! He was on this earth, and lived and breathed for 16 minutes (not to mention the 9 months in your stomach!)! Why would they stamp his precious birth certificate with deceased? I would call the state, and demand a birth certificate that Isaac's birth, and a seperate one for his death. How cold and thoughtless of the state. I am so sorry about this, and please know that my heart goes out to you. It just doesn't seem fair that something affirming Isaac's life, and something you were looking forward to would be such a sad disappointment. Maybe your call will bring attention to an otherwise overlooked aspect, and help future families going through the loss of their infant.

Hugs,
Liz

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your pain!
I cried because my first daughter's hospital band (from her arm) had slipped off somehow, and probably ended up in the hospital laundry...I could not have this keepsake, because the hospital needed to keep her legband as a record of her release. She is a happy, healthy, 11 year old now- so silly of me to be sad about that when I had a healthy baby to take home!
I can only imagine your sadness and wish for you that they could print one for you without that stamp on it!
...I have a baby brother in heaven, and at that time, they kept nothing for memories...and I wish we had something!

I check your blog regularly, and I am curious if you plan to write more letters to your sweet Isaac? Maybe you do this privately....
Praying for you,
Lynne

Anonymous said...

That was heartless. It is so sad that they are sitting in that office, not even thinking of what their little stamp is doing to a poor mother living without her sweet baby. I know you didn't write that part to get everyone to hate the vital records office... but seriously, if breaking a mom's heart is "standard procedure" maybe they need to reevaluate their procedures. I'm so sorry for that reminder... one that could have been prevented if someone was just thinking.

The Schaeffer Family said...

What a terrible thing for them to do to you. I am so sorry. I would call the office and ask for a new one. I really can't see why that was necessary on their part. My hearts aches for you, but I continue to feel inspired by your love of our Lord.

Annie said...

I'm so sorry about the birth certificate. That's horrible! How could everyone stamp that (protocol or not)?

On another note, I have to tell you that I am bothered by the fact that people are profiting off of Isaac's death. These Mary Kay and other small businesses that are offering to make donations to Isaac's playground is, in my opinion a twisted attempt at increasing their own business and using Isaac's blog for free advertising. If these people were truly interested in helping, why not just donate a portion of their sales without requiring your followers to purchase? Why is their donation contingent on how much business your site draws in? In my opinion it's a distraction from Isaac's memorial.

Again, if these women want to help, why can't they donate to Isaac's playground without marketing their business ventures on Isaac's blog?

Maria said...

Oh hun...this is just horrible. There is no reason why they can't give you a new birth certificate SEPARATE from a death certificate. The people who process these docs are simply paper-pushers and don't realize the emotion behind it.....

I really hope you're able to get what you need for your soul's healing.

The Knight Family said...

That makes my heart hurt. :(

Many are praying for you from Knoxville, Tennessee.
I completely understand why that would be so devastating.
I hope someone will FIX it for you.

grandmaof6 said...

Dear Stacy,

I would call the office and request one without the stamp. I think they have to legally stamp the birth certificates for fear that someone could steal Isaac's identity.

I'm so sorry you had to have this happen to you now. You remain in my thoughts and prayers

Pete, Alison and Charlie said...

Dear Stacy,
I'm so sorry to read how upset you were when Isaac's birth certificate arrived. I understand completely - we were so thrilled when our son Will was born alive, because it meant we would have a birth certificate as well as a death certificate, and people looking back through the records in years to come would know that he was real, and he was here. I think we do things differently here in the UK - we have to go to the register office to tell them about births and deaths, so we get the certificates there and then. Will's birth certificate makes no mention of the fact that he died shortly after birth - as another commenter says, you have the death certificate to tell you that. I'm sure if you contact your equivalent of the register office and explain the situation, they will be able to send you another certificate without the stamp on. Thinking of you, and sending you much love at this tough time of the year. Alison X

Foreverloves said...

Oh Stacy...I'm so sorry! This happened to us too! We were so thrilled to receive the birth certificates. We stared at them forever; thought they were great. It was only when I held them up to the light that I could see, this faint writing - the kind that, like, if you copied it on the copy machine, you'd see plain as day. I couldn't even say the word - I just called it "The D Word". Like I said, it was faint in the background, but I showed it to Jon. He couldn't see it until I pointed it out...deceased. It killed me. The one thing I wanted was to have something NORMAL from the experience; something that every little boy or girl actually born would receive, but ours were tainted and awful. I barely look at them because I hate them.

The SS cards were worse. We applied for them for a few reasons, but primarily because we wanted their names counted in the SSA database (to help keep "Jacob" as the #1 name in the US!) and also in case people were doing geneology, they could find our boys. We got them fairly easily, but when they arrived, I was equally disgusted. One of the workers actually wrote ALL OVER IT in dark black marker, DECEASED. HANDWRITTEN. I wanted to throw up.

And as for the suggestion by some that you request another birth certificate without that notation on it? In PA, that is not possible. They claim they must issue birth certificates and such with that word on it because they were issued after death. It is an identify theft prevention; so that no one could steal (or you could not sell...as if you would though!) the birth certificate as a means to obtain false identification. I dont' know what MD's laws are, but that's what we were told.

I'm so very sorry. I went through this exact scenario and it broke my heart too.

Hope Wilson said...

praying for you in Georgia...

Miss A. said...

Stacy,

I can not believe how heartless the Vital Statistics office was in handling Isaac's birth certificate. I am so sorry to hear how that was handled. I would agree with sandi's comment and contact them, telling them to send a new copy without the stamp. I my thoughts and prayers are with you and Spencer.

Amy said...

OK- so I have never commented on your blog before and you don't know me from Adam. I am from Iowa and stumbled across your blog and read it and pray for you. I had to comment today. I TOTALLY agree that you need to call or better yet, go in person if possible, and get a new birth certificate! Sometimes people that work at those places need to be able to put a face to a name and realize that human hearts are involved here. Stick up for yourself on this one!

Erin said...

I'm so sorry you have to live through each of these moments. I'll continue to pray for your family and especially for God to protect your hearts from additional pains.

AmandaHoyt said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you had to see those words on his birth certificate. My heart is breaking for you.
Many hugs and prayers,
Amanda

Anonymous said...

Stacy,
I am so sorry about Isaac's birth certificate. It hurt me to read your words. I agree with other posters that said to call to get a new birth certificate. Can you call the hospital about this? You are entitled to have that birth certificate that celebrates Isaac's birth and does not acknowlegde his death. I hope you are able to do this for yourself and for Isaac.
Much love and prayer to you and your family,
Lindsay (WinsyWade on BOTB)

JackiJaguar said...

What a heartbreaking stamp. I'm so sorry. I continue to pray for you and Spencer.

Stephanie said...

I know exactly how you feel. When I received Levi's birth certificate, I expected the same certificate my other children got. My breath caught in my throat when I opened it, and I felt so cheated. Why could they not have given me a birth certificate and death certificate separately? Why would that have been so hard. I wonder if there is any way to get them change?