Thursday, March 26, 2009

Google

Before I get to Google, I wanted to say that I am glad that my list of ways to help someone who is grieving the loss of a child (or anyone) was so helpful. For those other parents out there who have had the painful experience of burying your child, I am glad that much of what I shared resonated with you. And for those who are friends and loved ones of someone who has lost a child, I am glad that many of you found my suggestions helpful.

I also wanted to say this: If you were reading and found yourself thinking, "Oh rats. Did I say that to her? Did I share the right verse?" or "Did I send the right card to my friend... I think it was created my Hallmark... uh-oh!" that my intention was never to make you second guess yourself. I would rather you say something than nothing. We know that the people's intentions are truly good. I also know, though, that being in the position of having lost a child offers a unique perspective on some of those things, and so my hope in sharing what I did was to give you a peek inside the heart and mind of a mother who misses her son terribly, and to equip you with some information that you might find helpful.

Okay. On to Google.

A few weeks ago I was at home, just killing some time, and yes, I decided to Google myself. I was curious to see if when I did, my blog came up. Here's the crazy thing. As I started to type in my name, one of the options that popped up from the list of options Google gives you as it tries to predict what it is you want to search for, was "Stacy Delisle blog." WHAT?! I couldn't believe that people has been searching Google for my blog!

Then I decided to Google Isaac. We have a birth certificate for him, and wanted to get him a social security number because we really want him to count. And, if in the future anyone ever did a genealogy or something on our family, we would want him to be included. So I googled him. And wouldn't you know that "Isaac Timothy Delisle" and "Isaac Timothy blog" both popped up.

It was one of those moments that I started to both laugh and cry at the same... chuckling that my sweet little boy can be Googled, and crying over the fact that the only way he will be really known is through me, Spencer, and my blog. I wish so much that he was here, and that his future accomplishments could also be Googled.

It's a cool (cold?), rainy day here in Maryland today, and it just seems sort of fitting. I am pretty exhausted from a crazy schedule and form things just having been more difficult lately. I am just missing Isaac a ton today...

Thank you for continuing to offer prayers on our behalf. God continues to be very present, and we are grateful for that.

20 comments:

Kelli said...

Isaac does matter and for that I am thankful! It' rainy in South Carolina for the 2nd day.

Jess :) said...

Yes, Isaac totally matters and I think it's just such a blessing that you and Spencer are able to tell us and share with us all that you can about him!! We are blessed because of that! Thank you, Stacy!

And we LOVE hearing anything you can tell us!

Chatty said...

Ha ha, when I google my own name nothing (really about me) pops up, but Isaac is there! See?

He absolutely matters, and he will always matter. He was here, and he was beautiful Stacy, really. Thank you for sharing Isaac (and yourself!) with us.

-Alison

Tammy On the Go said...

HE definately matters to me...he changed my life.

The Jones' said...

I agree that Isaac matters and just wanted to say how beautiful he is and how I can't wait to meet him one day!
Blessings,
Liz

Angela said...

Thanks for the disclaimer. I sometimes struggle knowing if I should share the things I got tired of hearing after giving birth to Benjamin because I know people's intentions were good, and I would most likely have said the same thing. If any of that makes sense. :)

Do you have an option on your site counter where you can see how people found your blog? Oh, that is my favorite thing to look at! On mine, it lists the most common Google searches performed by people that led them to your blog. My funniest one was "penis doctor Vanderbilt." LMBO--I think I literally burst out laughing when I read that the first time.

Miche said...

It is rainy here today too. More of a curl up on the couch with a book and some hot chocolate than being here at work.

So funny that you googled yourself. I do it every so often but nothing comes up which makes you, Spencer, and Isaac way more important than I.

Isaac will always matter to lots more people than either of us can ever imagine. It's amazing!

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Praying sweet friend...

Ruth said...

AWESOME!

Chelsea Pang said...

Thinking of you and missing your precious baby. You are a beautiful mother. He is so lucky you gave him life.

Tim and Jennifer said...

You do not know me, but I have read your blog for a while....I posted a while ago, but I am so encouraged about your life. First, I love the Pipers and can't wait to check out her blog. I listen to John Pipers sermons sometimes on his desiring God website. Second, I love everything you said about people grieving.... myself, only going through a partial molar pregnancy miscarriage, and then losing my daughters twin early on this past pregnancy....people don't ever know what to say. I can't even imagine your situation, but I am sure people feel speechless. Thirdly, I think about Isaac alot.... he has impacted me because when I look at my baby I appreciate life more than I ever would have after reading both or your story. Moms everywhere will hold their babies a little tighter after knowing Isaac. I am a better mom because of Him. He is precious. You are going to be the greatest mom, I know your future children will not replace his loss, but I know you will have joy in your future....i don't even know the verse, but it has rang true in my life....those who sow in tears will reap in joy.....its raining in Georgia too. Thank you Isaac.

Foreverloves said...

we did the same thing with the social security numbers. Now our boys count and can be searched for, and that matters so much to me. Plus, we register votes for Jacob and Zachary as names. Jacob is the #1 name in the US for boys, and we're working to keep it that way!

How neat that you can be googled. I love that!

Mary P said...

I believe Isaac was born to teach...he has certainly taught me countless lessons through you, and I think about him everyday. I think there are many parents and people out there that are better for knowing Isaac through you...whether they have found faith, or just appreciate life, or admire the grace people can have through heartbreak...countless lessons I have learned since reading your blog. I continue to be thankful for your presence and Isaac's, and pray everyday that God will give your heart what it needs on a daily basis.

Troy & Amy said...

Isaac TOTALLY matters! He changed my life too! I found myself closer to God than I think I've ever been thanks to Isaac and you too!

Um - I'm 35 and I've googled myself. - NOTHING. Not even my blog. There's other people that pop up - but not me. So - you see, Isaac, at such a young age is totally googleable! (Is that a word?) - LOL!

heidi marie said...

and i'm sure you can see how much isaac matters to so many people that your blog pops right up! i know his life has mattered to us! :)

fyi- if you are even more bored check out sitemeter.com. you can hook it up to your blog and actually see what people search to get to your blog. it also tells you how many people go to it and some other things as well. there is a free membership and one you can pay for.

Leah said...

You both very much matter! I have started following your blog after a friend of a friend told me about your beautiful words and your experience. God Bless~

Leah

Rachel said...

He matters so much... to so many, who will never know him or you, but through the amazing world of the internet, we can fall in love with him and pray for you.

I love that he comes up on google!

Thanks for letting us know him.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

I know it can oftentimes feel so tiresome and painstaking that we, in our grief, are the soul torchbearers for our baby's identity in this world. I wish that we could simply present our babies, alive and well. That would be easier in so many ways. You do a beautiful, wonderful job of honoring and remembering Isaac. Not only is Isaac cherished by God, who always knew him, but he is cherished by the rest of us because you share him with us. Thank you.
Peace.

Ang said...

Oh how cool is that!! Isaac did and STILL does matter and will always matter! You are such an inspiration.

BTW you may have already responded but I changed my blog to private (I think) and I don't know if since I follow you if you have to have an invite or not to read or post on mine. If you do my email is agb443@msn.com thanks!!

Rebecca Louise. said...

Isaac gets googled! How cool!

He will always count - no matter what.