Blurry Vision

Last night Spencer was working re-caulking some areas in our shower. Well, actually, he never made it to the re-caulking part because as he was trying to get the caulk to come out, it squirted every which way... and one of those ways was straight into his right eye. He flushed it with water for 15 minutes, and then, per the recommendation of our nurses' hotline with the insurance company, went to the emergency room. They irrigated his eye with a full bag of saline solution (ouch!), gave him a few prescriptions for eye drops and eye cream, told him to not use his eyes for 24 hours (what?!) and sent him on his way.

His eye was quite red and felt scratchy. Spence said that he felt like there was this white film over it and that he couldn't quite see clearly.

If you've been to the ER, you know that you do a lot of.... waiting. I thought about how so often our lives are like that... like walking around with blurry vision. We want so badly to see clearly... to understand, to be able to make sense of life's disappointments, hurts, and even catastrophes. Sometimes it's our circumstances that cause the blurry vision, sometimes it's our response to them. Most often, though, I think it's our humanness... the fact that we just don't see the full picture. And if you're like me... you want to. At least, I think I do.

I was reminded of the oh-so-familiar passage that we, as I am sure some of you, had read at your weddings. It comes from 1 Corinthians 13, and while most often this passage is read because of its description of love, this is the part that stuck out to me:

9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:9-12

I know that now I see just a poor reflection... I have blurry vision. Things in life don't always make sense... reasons are often unclear, or unknown. I don't understand how and why God works the way He does sometimes. I only know part of the story. Some days that frustrates me, because with Isaac, the part I know is the part that hurts. I want so deeply to understand why Isaac couldn't be here with us longer; I want so deeply to know why it had to be my son. And sometimes the "whys" cause my vision to be blurry. In the midst of all of my blurry vision though, there is the One whose vision is not only perfectly clear, but more vast and wonderful than I could ever fathom... even when it hurts like crazy.

What a promise in verses 12 and 13... that one day I will know in full. One day I will meet Him, and Isaac, face to face... on no longer will my vision be blurry. It will be crystal clear.

Lastly, if you haven't checked out the Sponbergs' blog, you should. Nicol Sponberg used to sing in Selah, and is working on releasing a solo album this summer. She and her husband, Greg, lost their second child, Luke, to SIDS on May 27th last year. She has written a song in honor of Luke that will be on her solo album. Click here to get to the Sonbergs' to view the video and listen to this absolutely beautiful song.