Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Biggest Loser

Spencer and I totally have a thing for this show... The Biggest Loser. While both of us probably got into watching it because of our own interest in health and fitness, I now continue watching because I feel like you get to know so much about the contestants... their personalities, their stories. And quite frankly, they are just downright inspiring.

I missed this season's premier last Tuesday, and randomly found that some channel was re-airing it last night. So of course, Spence and I tuned in. This season's theme is all about second chances. There's a guy on there from last season, who we were actually really pulling for but he got voted off fairly early. Person after person was sharing their stories about why they wanted to come on the show.

And then they got to Abby.

Abby talked about how she had a husband, a 3 or 4 year-old daughter, and a 2 week old son. While this statement may not have alerted anyone else to what she was about to say, when you listen with the ears of a parent who has lost a child you notice subtleties such as the fact that Abby referred to her family in the past tense. I knew what she was going to say next couldn't be good.

And then she said it.

All three were killed in the same fatal car crash.

As my tears came pouring out, I just wanted to jump through the screen and hug this woman.

As she explained what happened, she said something along the lines of how every role she filled was taken away from her... being a wife... being a mother. It made so much sense. And so often, I have felt similarly.

Over the past almost year, it has been so hard to figure out what my role is as a mother when Isaac isn't here to love and to raise. We've been so fortunate to be presented with opportunities to share Isaac with others... through this blog, his memorial service, the golf tournament. Yet in the day-to-day, it is still such a difficult thing to have people ask you if you have any kids because they don't see your child with you... or worse yet, to just assume that you don't and tell you how "lucky" you are because once you do have kids, you can no longer have the freedom to just do this or that. Trust me... I'd give up that freedom in a nanosecond if it meant having Isaac here, as I am sure you well know.

In a little over two weeks, we'll be remembering Isaac's birthday... we'll no longer be counting months since we last hugged him and kissed his little face. It will be years, which is just really strange to be. I'm starting to really feel the heaviness of all of this weigh on me, and we'd appreciate your prayers as we continue to anticipate October 7th and plan a day for Spencer and I to be together and to remember our son.

And tune in on Tuesday nights to watch Abby and the rest of the gang. Despite Jillian and Ed's ridiculous training tactics, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

27 comments:

jd6405 said...

I too cried when Abby shared her story. Any mother, with or with out her child, I am sure would have found her story heartbreaking. My husband and I too enjoy BL and we have watched each and every season. So know that there are others out there who "know" you are watching "with" you. :)

Tina said...

I too was drawn to Abby because I can relate to her story. I really hope she does well. xx

2 little Boys said...

I too blogged about the Biggest Loser and Abby's story, I was so touched by how she expressed her loss and how she felt like GOD still had something bigger for her. I pray that God's bigger thing is her testimony shared on this show to millions of people. tohttp://lauras2littleboys.blogspot.com/2009/09/biggest-loser-season-8.html

I am so sorry for your loss of Issac and I know that his birthday will be a difficult day, but I pray that God provides you a special way to celebrate that day with your husband and for it to be such a blessing of healing for your both.

Daily laying it at the Master's feet!
Laura Ann

Kelli said...

I am in prayer for you and Spencer as the anniversary of Isaac's birthday gets closer. God is mighty to save!

Jennifer said...

I love watching this show, it is always full of inspiring people. I was heart broken after hearing Abby's story, I was so happy to hear that she is taking this chance to change her life. I will pray for you and your husband as this day, Oct 7th comes near.

Tammy On the Go said...

thank you for posting this. I don't take for granted any time you share your heart with us

adorkable::: said...

I was sobbing throughout Abby's story. I asked, "how has she made it through these last two years alone." Oh, the heartache.

Trina and Jophie said...

I'm a HUGE Biggest Loser fan too! Cried my little eyes out with Abby and am cheering for her all the way!

Was absolutely THRILLED to see they brought back Daniel! Loved him last season and was so sad to see him go. I'm ever more in love with him because of his compassion to the largest woman choosing her because he knew she would need him. For his age it shows such maturity....

What I'm VERY disappointed in is NBC allowing what used to be a "Any member of the family could watch no matter the age" show which now has turned into a POTTY MOUTH/angry eyes/In your face brow beating/belittling/DONT care at all what your sob story is(And yes J. was referring to Abby)/screaming/bleeeeep out every other word/Push VERY VERY overweight people ON THEIR FIRST DAY to the point of almost killing them match...

SO MUCH SO....

I almost don't want to watch...

FROM experience I could tell NBC along with B and J that IF they used that kind of behavior with me or my friends we would NOT lose weight. In fact we'd certainly be curled into balls/in a corners/sucking my thumbs and crying...

I could also tell them the show has and DID in fact inspire my friends and I three years ago so much so we created a cookbook not only for our health but to help others and at the same time help with my sons needs.

Collectively as a group(6 of us have lost over 300 pounds) all that in a matter of 2 years. Personally I've lost 100 of that.

Now one year beyond that we ALL have still maintained those losses. Granted I do have more to lose but, with our slow/healthy/NO SCREAMING in our faces/No chance of pushing us to our deaths kind of program

We ALL continue to succeed and/or maintain and our happier/healthier for it.

Myself and one friend have managed to completely reverese diabetes /cholesterol and Hypertension diagnosis so much so we've managed to either drop meds completely and/or are on a slow gradual wean with the goal of being OFF completely.

So much so my sons pediatrician and my doctor have been promoting this for over a year...

OK so that turned into a book...

Sorry bout that but we are so compassionate about this and proving that you do NOT have to be brow beatin/cursed or worse being pushed almost to your death to be successful....

I DO love the show and am hoping ever so much they curve the MEAN/EVIl attitudes/Health of the contestants AND for goodness sake those potty mouths so we can watch...

Trina and Jophie

Christy said...

Stacy I am praying for you as you get closer and closer to Isaac's birthday. I pray that the next couple of weeks are gentle for you. I can tell you from one grieving mother to another, that as time goes by it does become softer (the grief). It can be hard when people ask this question, and I pray GOD continues to give you peace. I will be singing Happy Birthday to your beautiful boy on Oct 7 and praying for you and your husband.

Jessica said...

I love the Biggest Looser and draw inspiration from that show. Ironically I DVRed the season premiere and haven't watched it yet. It really hits home when you hear of the loss of a child.

I will be praying for you as you prepare to remember your son's first birthday. Sending hugs.

Dixie said...

Still reading about your journey and thinking and praying for you.

Sonya said...

I was also crying when Abby shared her story. My mom happened to be over and her having lost a child herself was trying to hold back her tears. I have been praying for you and Spencer very hard the last couple of weeks as Isaac's birthday is fast approaching. I pray that God will give you comfort and peace and wrap his loving arms around you both. Isaac is safe in those arms!! May God be with you.

Sarah said...

As you can imagine, I've been struggling too with the day-to-day of being a mother yet not having my child to raise. Sometimes I just want to pull up my shirt and show the world my stretchmarks so they know I did give birth to Andrew even though he isn't here with me - lol!! I've been thinking a lot about you and Spencer as your 1 year anniv will be the same day as our 2 month. I'll continue praying b/c I know it'll be hard.

I had missed the premiere episode of Biggest Loser (was watching Big Brother finale) but I'll definitely have to keep an eye out for Abby.

Thanks for continuing to share your life with us!!

erin w. said...

I can't only imagine how you are feeling as you remember baby Isaac and his birth coming on a year ago. He has impacted so many lives in his short time here. I'll be praying for you and thinking of you.

The Hollands said...

i too cried, i havent lost a child as you, but mothers who have there children right in front of there face....there biggest fear is to lose them, so this fear, and heartache that you and abby both feel, us mothers with healthy children, walk around, praying that this will never happen to them. you are not alone, in any way shape or form, these fears haunt anyone that can love someone more than themselves.

Cynthia said...

Praying for you and Spencer as the birthdate comes. Thinking of you too.

Holly said...

I didn't get to see the premiere...oh my gosh. How truly devastating!!! It is difficult for me when people ask about my children because I don't want to have to explain to them that my daughter died-that she never even had a chance. I'd give up freedom too. Having my kids is worth so much more than my freedom.

Rachel Tenpenny Crawford said...

I saw that episode as well and was a mess for the rest of the day. All mothers who have lost children share a bond...how could we not. I love BL too. I have for years. I love to be inspired. I will be praying for you as your little one's birthday rolls around. Your little guy's birthday was my girls' due date. They didn't make it though. They were born in June and died in July. It has been over a year since I lost my girls and I have to admit I never stopped counting the months. Truthfully, I count the days. Praying for you.

Rachel Tenpenny Crawford said...

I also forgot to tell you that I had a party for my girls' birthday. I invited loved ones and everything. I made a cake. We spent the day by the pool. I didn't sing Happy Birthday though. We started the day at the cemetery and then went to my parent's home. And it was a wonderful day. I thought I would be miserable, but I wasn't. I missed my girls but there was no better way to remember them on their birthday. I hope what you decide to do blesses you both.

Once A Mother said...

That story broke my heart. She has just lost so much. I hope that this show offers her an opportunity at focusing on something that makes her feel good, though we know how difficult this can be. Thinking of you as you approach the 7th.

Troy & Amy said...

Oh my - it looks like I had better rewind and watch that first biggest loser! I missed it too and watched it last night, but was confused about what Abby had happen to her.

I will be praying for you on October 7 as well and hope that the day isn't as bad as you are anticipating. I know those anniversary days can be brutal. It wasn't until the second anniversary of my mother's death that I was able to say - it's the 2nd anniversary of my mom getting into heaven!

Anonymous said...

Praying for you as Isaac's birthday approaches...I have been following your blog.
I watch Biggest Loser,and I too thought they were even more harsh! I agree with Trina & Jophie's comment- thinking there has to be a kinder way to be firm..but was afraid someone could have a heart attack that first day!
Abby's story made us cry too! Heartbreaking!

Anonymous said...

I haven't visited your blog in a long time. I remembered you, though and want to check up on you. Your story has touched me so much. I am a teacher, and I first read your story on my birthday last year - October 7. I don't think I will ever have a birthday that I don't say a special prayer for you and Isaac. God bless you.

Dawn said...

I saw that too. Last weeks episode was just as bed. They got phone calls home. She called her mom and I lost it when she said two butterflys followed her during one hike they had to do.

I hope she wins

Valerie said...

I found u thru a friend of mines blog and am so grateful for it. Just on Sept 7 we lost our baby in a car accident. I was expecting to deliver her this week. I havent read back yet to hear ur story of Isaac but will be doing so over the next few days. He sure is a beautiful baby. Thinking and praying 4 u and ur husband as u come up on his birthday soon. God Bless

Hannah said...

This is my first time to read your blog, and I am broken by your story. I will keep you and Spencer in my prayers during this difficult time.

The Biggest Loser is one of my ALL time favorite shows. I was touched by Abby also. And to anyone who missed the first episode, or just wants to see it again, you can watch full episodes for free on www.NBC.com!

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday, Isaac. You are beautiful.