Moses

There are two women whose blogs I frequent regularly. Both of these women recently carried babies to term, or close to it, who they knew had a slim chance of survival, barring a miracle. Like me, their doctors may have discussed termination with them numerous times. Like me, their prenatal sheets may have also read "unviable fetus." That phrase bothers me... don't those doctors know that they're talking about my son? My Isaac? That's besides the point, here, though.

Both of these women recently wrote about Moses on their blogs. I admit, I don't usually spend a lot of time in the Old Testament. Particularly in times of trial. If I do, it's usually in Psalms. This past weekend, however, I did read through most of Job. After seeing what they had written, I decided to take a look at these passages about Moses in Exodus... passages I have read before, but haven't revisited in quite a while. Specifically, I was captivated by Exodus 3 and 4.

You may be familiar with the "Sunday School" story of Moses and the burning bush. God appears to Moses and calls to him. I was struck by what I read in chapter 3 verse 6, which says, Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." This might seem ordinary, unless you have a son named Isaac. I was so glad to remember that God isn't just God of the universe, but that He's my God... and He's Isaac's God.

As the passage continues, God tells Moses that He wants him to go to Pharoah and lead the Israelites out of Egypt. This is obviously no small task, and one for which Moses feels very ill-equipped. He makes that clear by the numerous questions he then asks God...

"Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

"Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?"

"O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

Each time Moses protests, God answers him.

Eventually, Moses just plainly beckons God and says, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

I found that so refreshing. Moses, who is given as an example of one who had great faith... even he felt that God's call was more than he would be able to bear and asked for someone to go in his place.

The path that God has called Spencer and me to feels like more than I can bear. I feel so much like Moses, with so many questions and so many reasons why I am not capable of carrying a cross this heavy.

In response to Moses, God tells him that his brother, Aaron, is already on his way. God has gone before Moses and prepared a way for him by sending his brother Aaron.

I know that the same is true for Spencer and I. God has gone before us in this. In some ways, I see that very clearly already. In other ways, I know I have yet to see it unfold, but am hoping to have the eyes and heart to recognize it when I do.

This Friday we have another ultrasound. It was supposed to be next week, but for various reasons I moved it up. Would you please pray that we would be able to enjoy our time "visiting" with Isaac and getting to see him? Those moments can be very bittersweet. Would you please pray that the doctors would find nothing else wrong? At my last ultrasound, there was mention that the omphalocele (the abdominal hernia) may have started to attach itself to my body. The perinatologist didn't seem overly concerned, but since nothing would surprise me at this point, I very much was. Would you please continue to seek God with us an asking Him for a miracle? And lastly, would you please pray that God would continue to strengthen our hearts, help us to not lose hope of one day having a healthy child, and that He would make His perfect peace very real to us?