Monday, July 28, 2008

Hope

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11


I have been thinking about these two passages a lot lately. These past couple of weeks, I have started to wonder where my hope has gone. I tend to be a positive and optimistic person, trying to see the bright side of things and finding the silver lining. Lately, though, it has been hard to see past the muddled mess of what's in front of me... the countless contradictions of who God is and will always be, and the circumstances we're currently facing.

Recently, Spencer and I were talking about how this time last year, we felt like we finally had been given a reprieve of the "hard stuff." We had finished our 2 1/2 year "get out of debt" plan, had moved into a great house into a great neighborhood, had the opportunity to travel overseas for two weeks with family, see my sister get married... life was good. Just a few short months later, though, it all started to come crashing down. We were facing one thing after another... my miscarrige, my mother-in-law's cancer, and now what we're facing with Isaac. Towards the end of the conversation, I got trapped into the thinking of, "Well maybe for us, it's just supposed to always be hard."

The following day, Spencer and I went out to go rent a movie. In the sky was one of the most glorious rainbows I had ever seen. There weren't a lot of trees or buildings obstructing my view, and it just seemed to stretch so high and wide... and the colors were vibrant. I was immediately reminded of Noah, and how God sent him a rainbow after the flood. I just about lost it (which isn't hard for me these days), feeling as if the Lord was just speaking to me saying, "Stacy... I am faithful. Life WILL feel good again... I WILL turn your mourning to laughter and weeping to singing... you CAN trust Me. I have GOOD plans for you." There's a trite little saying that goes something like, "It takes both sun and rain to make a rainbow." I guess we're just in the midst of the thick rains; but God reminded me that day that the sun WILL shine again.

I really wish Isaac could have seen the rainbow, too.

As you continue to pray for us, would you please pray that Spencer and I would hold on to the truths in these scriptures? That God would fill us with joy, and peace, and hope as we continue to trust in His ways, even though we don't understand them and they are extremely painful? And would you pray that God would contiue to use Isaac's life to draw people closer to Him?

16 comments:

Taylor said...

This post has touched me. Often times I have felt that life is just "supposed to be hard" for us as well. In my head I know that isn't true, but convincing my heart is another story. I think it is the enemy at work within us. You are right... there WILL be good again. The sun will shine. Praying for you!

banbear2 said...

Your faith continues to amaze me. I will pray for you and Spencer and little Issac.

Anonymous said...

I just "got" your "Like mom and dad, like son" picture, and it made me grin. It took me awhile ... I was trying to figure out what was in the background that related to the title. I love your sense of humor!

I will be praying specifically as you ask, that you will be filled with all joy and peace so you are overflowing with hope. That was what I first began praying for you, for hope. But you are right ... you need joy, peace, hope. Hope despite any news that comes to you on any particular day, so that your mood will not have to change with the changing news each day, each ultrasound, each medical appt.
connie

Lauren said...

Oh my dear... I confess that I know just how you feel and like you and Taylor said... I too have felt maybe life is just supposed to be tough for us. We have been blessed with Norrah's life - Thank GOD - but the road before was tough and I think I just thought it would be over now. Uggghhh. Thanks for the challenge. I am so glad that the Lord gave us each other to learn from and encourage. He is doing something amazing... can't wait to see it from His view. Love you. AND CUTE SHIRT IN YOUR 26 WEEK PICTURE! YEA!

Jen said...

Stacy, I am a strong believer that God gives us what we can handle, even though at the time it may not seem like we can handle it. Also, in buddhist thought, without suffering you cannot fully live life...you must suffer to understand the blessings of life.

I recently wrote a post on my own blog about being tired of life always being hard...Sometimes it is hard to remember the beauty of life and those hopeful feelings.

Thinking of you, Isaac and Spencer.

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

I think they came up with a phrase for people like us. I think it's "when it rains, it pours". People always told me that God only gives us what we can handle.. there's been MANY times since our son passed that we've said to God "HEY!! WE CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE!!"
I'm hoping he hears us soon.. and I hope he hears you too! :)

Anonymous said...

Stacy, I have been following your story on the nest. I have never felt right about posting there because I have never experienced a pregnancy loss or anything and actually, I've not been pregnant. I just wanted you to know that your story touched me.

I had a family member pass away within the last few months and up until that point, I hadn't lost anyone other than grandparents when I was very young. This was a shock and it definitely shook my beliefs more than I thought possible. I can't even imagine what you're going through with this. Know that your story has touched me.

I really do pray and hope for a miracle for Issac. At the very least, I hope you and your husband are able to spend time with him after his birth. Whatever happens, he will know that he is a dearly loved and very wanted little boy. I pray that you and your husband will get through this and ultimately, you will find peace in all of this. Even reading your blog/nest postings, it is obvious that even with all of the difficulties you've had, Issac has already brough you great joy and no one will take that away whether he lives on this earth for 1 minute or for years. All of the best to you, your husband and baby Issac.

Jessica said...

i will pray for all the things you mentioned. :)

kat said...

Praying for you and Spencer and Issac. I read your blog all the time and am always amazed at your faith. Your story has really touched me and given me a desire to know God even more. I am praying for a miracle for Issac.

Monica said...

Thinking about you always. Take comfort in knowing that though the road ahead is hard, it has been walked before you, by One who walks it AGAIN with you, each step of the way.

Much love, the Gregorys

Stephanie said...

I wish I had some perfect comment to cheer you up but I can so relate to your feelings. I am struggling through some of the same thoughts. It is the Word that can pull me out of the mud.
I heard something once that I will never forget...
"If the Bible says it is light and you walk outside and see only complete darkness, IT IS LIGHT because the Bible says it is light."

I am hoping God will demonstrate His goodness to you in ways only He can (like the rainbow) constantly.

My heart's cry is MARANATHA! Come quickly Lord Jesus. This place is broken. I am so thankful we have a Redeemer and it is only a matter of time before all things will be completely made new. Isaac's body WILL be made perfect and all of your tears are being stored by your heavenly, compassionate Father.

Your famiy is so precious. Thank you for letting us walk through this valley with you.

Anonymous said...

Stacey, I am a fellow nestie. I followed your posts on H&F and had a certain image of you in my head. Obviously from your bio on there, you are beautiful and fit. That impressed me and gave me the confidence to try some of the things you suggested to others.

One day I somehow stumbled on to this blog of yours. I caught up about you and your story reading from the very first entry. Now I "know" more about you and the journey you are taking. You are more beautiful to me than I can fathom at times. You have allowed God to use your (His) story to His glory. I have been drawn back to Him and I am so grateful.

I am SO SORRY that you and Spencer are going through such a heart wrenching situation. I pray for you, your DH and Isaac daily. I love that you include the specific prayer request in your blog. It makes me feel like I can stand with you all in your time of need.

Thank you for ministering to me. Thank you for helping me reconnect more fully with my prayer life. Thank you for allowing me to witness a more "mature" Christian walk through a valley so I can do better in my valley. Thank you for being real with your pain, your joy, your hope, your love, your faith. Thank you for sharing what God is doing through this miracle baby named Isaac! May God bless you, Spencer and Isaac as much as you all have blessed others.

Nestie "Becoming_Untied"

Devon Rene said...

thank you for reminding me of god's truth, his hope...

hard sometimes to see in the midst of the storm. and truly, i think we walk one of life's most tragic storm.

praying for you...

Stephanie said...

I will pray for all of those things for you and your family. There is a prayer in a book that I read after our loss, Grieving the Child I Never Knew. It is a prayer that lately I keep saying over and over. I thought I would write it here for you too.

"God, thank you for clouds. They remind me that You are in the process of shaping my future. Help me to trust You wholeheartedly and see beyond my loss to the plans You have for me. Transform my hurt into healing, my fear into faith, and my past into a future with hope. I release it to You today. Remind me to look up as we journey on. Amen"

Kelly C (redsox123) said...

I often look for your name on the nest and when I read your blog it just brought me to tears. Im so sorry you and Spencer have to go through this. I feel so bad. I just hope that little Issac doesnt suffer. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Valerie said...

I can't put it any better than Monica already has.

Thinking of you all and keeping you in our prayers.