Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Happy Birthday, Sweet Isaac!

While today doesn't necessarily feel happy for us, I know for Isaac it is... for He is safe and secure in the presence of God himself. And for that, I am grateful.

One year ago today, my life was profoundly changed by the most beautiful little boy I have ever laid eyes on. I remember when the nurse brought Isaac over to us after he was born and told us he was alive, the tears came streaming down my face. I couldn't believe he was ours. I wanted so badly to be able to tell him, while he was living, how much I love him and how proud I am of him. I wanted him to feel what it was like for his mommy and daddy to kiss him, to hug him, to snuggle him, and to hold his little hand. I wanted him to fully experience the love his parents... and I know that he did. I am so thankful... I just wish it could have lasted longer.

While talking about our time with Isaac that day has come fairly easily (though not without tears), something I haven't been able to talk much about is later that night when we had to say goodbye... to have the joy of meeting your child juxtaposed with the anguish of having to then say goodbye. This is the part that I am not sure many people think about, particularly if you haven't lost a child yourself. People have mentioned to us how hard it must have been to leave the hospital carrying a picture of Isaac rather than Isaac himself, or how difficult it was to plan and attend your child's funeral. But neither of those moments come close to the pain of handing your son to a nurse you've never met, knowing you'll never see him again on this side of heaven. I am not sure I could ever adequately put into words the way that emotional pain transcends into physical pain at that very moment, the level of emptiness that a parent feels inside, or the sobs that echo through the very core of your being. Nothing about it is right. It is all terribly, terribly wrong, and unfortunately part of the fallen world in which we live. But thankfully, there is a Redeemer who meets us in the midst of life's most painful moments such as these and provides His comfort.

Today Spencer and I will spend time doing several things that we did while I was pregnant with Isaac... a hike at Sugarloaf Mountain and a picnic in a park. Of course we will spend a while at the cemetery, and will send up letters to Isaac carried by blue helium-filled balloons. But I think it goes without saying that these are all just consolations... because I would much rather be putting the finishing touches on a party for this coming weekend... and I would rather see Isaac demolish his first cupcake while attempting to eat it. Gosh I miss him. I know that he is in the most perfect place, but I am still his mom, I am still human, and there's a large part of me that would rather him still be here. Not because I think I can care for him better than God himself... as Spencer reminded me, I can't. But because I love him and I miss him.

Thank you for upholding us in prayer today. Thank you for remembering our sweet little strawberry-blonde haired Isaac with us.

Dear Isaac,

On this day, one year ago, you were born. It was the most glorious day of my life...knowing you has changed me.

I remember when we got to the hospital in the morning, there was already a little gift there for you... a little stuffed lamb... from Taylor and Lenny. We got settled in what would be our room for the day, and nurse Kathy got mommy all hooked up to a bunch of machines and things. One of those machines let us hear your heartbeat. When Mom-Mom, Grandpa Jim, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack all came back to see us before you were born, they could hear your heart beating, too.

Some doctors came in to take one last look at you on the ultrasound machine so that they could figure out the best way to get you out of my tummy safely. It was neat to see you in there one last time.

Pastor Guy and Pastor Rob came back and prayed with us and they prayed for you... knowing that it's never too late for God to perform a miracle and to heal your sweet little body. Then, we went to the operating room where you would be born.

You were born at 8:33am; and while God didn't heal your body like we prayed He would, I know I met a miracle that day-- you. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen... your fuzzy hair, your perfect little nose, and cute lips just like daddy's. Daddy and I are so thankful that we got to meet you while you were still alive so that you could feel us hug you and kiss your little face, and so you could clearly hear us tell you how much we love you and how proud we are of you. We do... and we are.

After you were born, nurse Kathy helped us give you a bath an put on the blue little outfit we got for you. Then, you got to meet everyone!! Your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, and some of mommy and daddy's closest friends who also love you very much. We're so glad that they all got to meet you and hold you. You are just precious.

Isaac, do you know that you have changed the world? That your life has impacted many, many people for Jesus? Do you know that there are people who didn't want to go to church who are now going back because of hearing about your life? That over one hundred people played in your golf tournament? That there are people who spend more time with their family, who hug their children a little bit tighter because of you? I am so proud to be your mommy... and I am so thankful that God has chosen to use you in a mighty way.

We miss you so much. We wish that you were here, just learning to walk, babbling out sounds like "dadada" and "mamama", and devouring your first taste of cake. Mommy and daddy know, though, that you are perfectly cared for in heaven... that you are healthy and whole, and that you have everything you need. We are thankful for that; but we still miss you. Deeply.

I love you, Isaac. I am so proud of you. Happy birthday, sweet boy.

Love,

Mommy











We will love you forever, sweet Isaac.

139 comments:

DianeTaylor said...

I am a long time follower of your blog, but first time commenter. I just have to say how wonderful this post is, it gave me chills. Lately I am have been struggling thru a year of storms myself (nothing like your journey but it has been one of loss). I have been looking at the world thru HATEFUL eyes lately and frankly --- it is exhusting. After reading this post, I have to tell you that I will now look at the world thru GRATEFUL eyes for everything God has provided me in this life on earth. Thank you, Isaac, for changing this girls life today - Happy 1 year birthday, sweet baby :)

A grateful blog follower,

jacks grandmom said...

God bless all of you and especially sweet Isaac! My prayers are with you all today.
Aunt Robin

Sonya said...

Oh Stacy! I will be praying for you so hard today. I pray that in the midst of it all God will give you peace. That letter that you wrote is so sweet and you are so right, Isaac has changed a ton of lives, I know mine certainly has been changed. Thank you for continuing to share your story and be real about it.

Bethany said...

Happy birthday to sweet Isaac! You & Spencer will be in my thoughts & prayers today.

Mary P said...

Happy Birthday Issac! Thoughts and prayers for you today as you celebrate Issacs accomplishments, and remember the sweet boy he is! I know he is missed...

The Hulocks said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! My prayers and thoughts will be with Spencer and you today!!

Seraphim said...

Oh Stacy. I still remember all these years later when we handed our baby brother back to the nurse for the final time and my mother's tears. I haven't walked in your shoes but I'm sending my love and warmest wishes.
Isaac HAS helped change lives, mine in particular. Thank you sweet boy for giving me that gift.
love to you all xxxx

Lynette said...

Happy Birthday, Sweet Isaac and Happy Birthday to his mum and dad too...praying peace and comfort for you both today.
lynette x

Misty Rice said...

Oh sweet friend.... Happy Birthday to your little angel. I can't stop the tears.

As I was reading, I stopped and said something in my head and then as I kept on reading you mentioned it in your post and I have to disagree a little bit...

I said to myself "in the very first picture of Isaac on your sidebar of the blog, he looks like his mommy".. I think he has mommy's mouth most.

So then I read your post and I had to then look at mommys and daddys mouth...and I still have to say in that first picture I totally see mommy there.

HA! Does that bring a little smile to your face this morning?

I still can't believe its been an entire year.

I still remember it like it was less than a week ago.

He is and still is so very pretty. Such a beautiful boy. I do wonder what he would be like today. His personality..... his habits, his likes and dislikes.

You (and daddy) keep his SO VERY MUCH ALIVE.

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Isaac.....

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! I hope you will have a fun-filled day of games, laughter and sweets in heaven today. I told my little Lucas about your birthday today and asked him to give you a huge hug from me on your birthday. I am glad I got to know you through the words of your mommy. You are a special little boy and have touched the life of soooo many.

Love,
Susi

Anonymous said...

unabHappy Birthday, Isaac! My prayers are with you today, I hope you have blue skies and sunshine as you celebrate Isaac's life.

Ami G.

Jessica said...

Happy Birthday sweet sweet Isaac!!

Stacy sending prayers and *hugs* your way. Your words are truely beautiful.

Miche said...

Stacy and Spencer,

I've been thinking about you guys facing this day since last week. Last night on the way home through tears I told Steve today would be Isaac's birthday.

My heart goes out to both of you today. Isaac has touched the hearts of many.

As I have told you before I was following your blog before I ever found out we would be following in your footsteps.

Take care of each other day and hopefully our babies will do the same.

Happy Birthday Sweet Isaac!

Amy, queen of the world. said...

Happy birthday, sweet boy. :)

Cate said...

Praying extra hard for you today. Happy Birthday, Isaac!

raechel said...

Happy birthday to your sweet Isaac. You have been on my mind so much and I will be praying for you and Spencer continually.

Much Love,
Raechel

Danielle said...

God Bless you and Spencer as you celebrate today. Your son continues to make a difference. I hope you have a beautiful day today.

Cecilia said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! You have a gift with words, and I always feel blessed to read how you are handling the loss of your sweet, sweet boy. Praying for comfort and peace for you both today.

Trennia said...

Happy Birthday Isaac...
This is such a heartfelt posting on and to your little boy God bless you.

Alison said...

Your name has been on my heart these last few days, especially. I have been praying that God will give you peace and comfort on Isaac's birthday.

Enjoy your day remembering sweet Isaac. That boy has a mommy and daddy who love him so much - what a blessing.

Happy Birthday, sweet baby!

Beth said...

Happy Birthday, sweet baby boy Isaac.

I am praying for your Mommy & Daddy on this day, and always.

Love & hugs from Michigan ~
Beth

Kelly said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! I am praying so hard for your mommy and daddy.

KKM

boltefamily said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Isaac! You have changed the world more than you could ever know little man! I know I am so grateful for your life! You are the miracle God wanted you to be for sure!

Stacy, it definitely still stings when you are spending the day with condolences rather than making a smash cake for his sweet hands to smash, but you are doing this with such grace and gratitude. I have to think Isaac is proud of the way his mom and dad allow him to live on even when it hurts so much they can barely breathe.

Love and prayers to you this day and always! We will be celebrating your Isaac today by making a donation to our women's care center. :)

I have to think birthdays in Heaven are awesome!

Much love!

Kristy

Connie's Confessions said...

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac! You are sorely missed.

Stacy and Spencer, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jen said...

Happy Birthday Isaac!

I have been reading your Mommy's blog for over a year now and I want you to know that I think of you often:) Your life and your legacy is so important to all who come and read this blog, and those of us who pray for your family that miss you dearly!

Stacy and Spencer my prayers are with you today and always.

Michelle said...

you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Holly said...

Happy Birthday Isaac!!

Thinking of you both on this day and sending love and hugs. I love reading your posts and reading about Isaac. He is a wondferful little boy who has touched so many and will continue to do so! I love what you are doing today to remember his sweet life.

And you're right about the pain of handing them over. It is the worst.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac. Your brief life and your amazing family has been a huge inspiration to me.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Isaac!
To Stacy and Spencer thinking of you both today and praying for continued strength.

Meg said...

Thinking of Isaac on his birthday! Thinking of you and thanking you for sharing his story! You are in my prayers today!

Jen J said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! Remembering you today in prayers - and your mommy and daddy too. Like other commenters have said, because of you I now make sure to take every single moment for what it is - a glorious gift from God.

God bless you all today!

erin w. said...

Isaac has truly impacted the world for Christ. Stacy, I am praying for you right now. Thank you for sharing.

KAL071203 said...

Thinking of you and spencer and dear sweet Issac today, your little boy has touched so many hearts it's impossible to count. We are praying for you and spencer as you remember your sweet miracle.

Anonymous said...

I will keep all of you in my prayers today!

T-Mommy said...

Happy first birthday sweet little champion!

((HUGS)) to you and your parents today

Laura said...

Thinking of you today and praying for you. Happy Birthday to sweet Isaac.

Once A Mother said...

You said: "I know that he is in the most perfect place, but I am still his mom, I am still human, and there's a large part of me that would rather him still be here." Have truer words of this experience been spoken? I wish your sweet Isaac was here in your arms. Your words to him brought tears to my eyes. Know that there are so many people that read this and raise your boy up in prayer today. Remembering him with you and praying that our babies are celebrating his birthday together.

Stephanie said...

Praying extra hard for you this week.
Happy Birthday Isaac..what a beautiful post!!

Beth (and Eric) said...

Happy Birthday to Isaac!

I am a friend of Erica's, and lost my son on the day he was born on August 31st of this year. Erica shared your blog with me just a few days ago, and I am so thankful. You have the right perspective despite this most traumatic event, yet you do admit your pain and human-ness. I appreciate you sharing this with all of us, and I know that you have and will help me as I grieve for my son... I hope that you have a wonderful & honorable & therapeutic day with your husband.
~Beth Gilleland

mandie lane said...

Sending love and prayers your way today.

team grier said...

Happy Birthday Dear, Dear Isaac! I hope you're day is full of heavenly gifts so grand and more beautiful than any earthly gift as your story and glorifying life have been a great, great gift to me. I'll be praying for your mommy & daddy, especially today, as they miss you so much but hope they are filled with joy and peace as they remember you, their true gift from God, the precious time you had together and your sweet face.

Jessica said...

i've followed your blog since last summer and think of and pray for you and spencer often. your sweet isaac is indeed a miracle and i'm so very sorry you had to say goodbye to him.

King J's Queen said...

Happy Birthday, Precious Isaac!

It's hard to believe a whole year has passed by. We will keep you and Spencer in our prayers especially today.

Bluebird said...

Thinking of you and Spencer today. Knowing our little ones are in a much better place - a perfect place!- will never completely wipe away the tears of parents who loved their children as much as humanly possible.

Wraping you in prayer and wishing you a peace filled day.

Trisha Larson said...

Stacy-

I'm so sorry that this is your life too. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I am glad that you are acknowledging the day rather than avoiding it. I also hope that you experience the same relief that I did the day after my son's death. I could FINALLY say that my life today was better than it was a year ago. For an entire year, I coldn't say that. Everything was compared to how good my life was the year before. But it was so healing to finally be in the place where I could see the healing and feel the time passing.

I hope that you find comfort in that as well. I hope that you and your husband are able to find the stregnth to survive this difficult day. I hope that you know that it will get better. The pain will always be there but it won't always consume everything.

Hugs to you and Happy Birthday to Issac!

Trisha

Molly said...

Thinking so much of you and Isaac today. Happy birthday to your precious son. He has taught everyone so many lessons about life. I am still so sorry for what happened and that he is not here with you. I can't imagine your pain on that day and again today. But wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and your story has changed me.

Tricia said...

I wonder what birthday parties look like when Jesus plans them? I know Isaac will have a wonderful birthday in heaven and I pray that God will give you peace today. Help to give you vivid memories of your sweet baby and an all-around comfort that only He can.

Love you girl!

-Tricia

natalie said...

I've followed your blog, but you don't know me. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers - today and every day. Happy birthday sweet, beautiful Isaac. I wish you and Spencer strength, peace, grace, and love on this somber day.

adorkable::: said...

Praying especially hard for you and your husband today. If tears stream down my cheeks as I watch Isaac's video, I cannot imagine how they pour from your eyes.

Loving you as a sister in our Lord Jesus Christ.

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

Happy birthday sweet baby Isaac. May your birthday celebration in heaven be filled with lots of love and birthday cake.
Stacy and Spencer, our thoughts and prayers are with you as you remember the day you said hello and goodbye to your sweet baby boy.

Kendra S-L said...

You can be sure that my life has been changed because of your son, and because of your witness, S. to the way that God has already redeemed the world. I am so looking forward to meeting your family in Heaven. What an awesome day that will be!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Nathan, Laurie, Elizabeth & Emily said...

Lifting you up in prayer today! Happy Birthday to Issac!

Leslie said...

I have followed your blog and must say that you have truly touched and changed my life. I will forever be grateful for Isaac and for sharing his story. Stacy and Spencer you are truly an inspiration and I am so thankful to be able to wish Isaac and Happy first birthday....... he is specialy beyond words!

Leslie, from Mass.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I'm thinking of you and your sweet Isaac today. Much love to all of you.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you on this special day.

JamieW said...

I have followed your blog for over a year. On August 20th of this year our second son was born sleeping at 38 weeks. I have found so much strength in your words and I will be praying for you and your husband today.

Anonymous said...

Stacy and Spencer, I have been following your blog and wanted to send you prayers and hugs today. Happy Birthday Isaac!

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac! Thinking of your family today.

Katie said...

Thinking of you on Isaac's 1st birthday. Keeping you in my prayers today and always.

heididh33 said...

Thinking of you today. Happy Birthday, sweet Isaac!

Brenna said...

Thinking about you today Stacy, and holding you, Spencer and Isaac in my heart. Your post is beautiful.

Mel said...

Happy Birthday, precious baby Isaac! Stacy and Spencer-Thinking of you today and praying for God's perfect strength, guidance and peace. Bless you guys.

Campbell Family of 5 said...

From a complete stranger,
Happy Birthday to Isaac. You are all in my prayers today. I cried through your post. I wish we could all carry a little of it for you. Your words have brought me closer to the Lord. Your son's life has deepened my understanding of God. God bless you.

Mrs.X said...

I have been following your blog for a long time, for well over a year. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, Spencer and Isaac today. You will are in my thougts and prayers.

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac.

Helga

Sara said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac. Prayers & love sent your way, Stacy & Spencer. I hope that you enjoy each other while remembering your son on his birthday. God's peace & blessings.

D9 said...

holding you in prayer today. I've been following your blog since a few months before Isaac's birthday. You are truly an inspiration and I wanted to thank you for making me realize how thankful I should be for what I have.

Happy Birthday Isaac, we just sent a dog up there to play with you! His name is Maverick and he loves babies!

Tammy On the Go said...

Thank you so much for touching my life little Isaac. thank you so much mommy for having the strength to carry us all on your journey.

In Christ I love your family.
Tammy

Angie said...

Thinking of you and your husband on this difficult day. You are such a good mom to sweet Isaac.

Rachel E. said...

What a beautiful writer you are, Stacy. I'm praying for you and Spencer today.

Devon said...

he is just breath-taking...beautiful...i imagine him, blake and ethan are the best of friends...

thank you for walking this journey with me as well. a journey we didn't choose but was given to us. know that you are an amazing mom and i KNOW issac is so proud of you..

be gentle with yourself...know that i am here...

Kim said...

You and your husband are in my prayers today. I'm approaching the 6 year anniversary of the birth and death of my beautiful 4#8oz son on Nov 4. I, too, remember with great pain the indescibable feeling of handing your precious baby to a stranger. Only our awesome God can comfort and give peace through something like that. I am so thankful to know Jesus so that He could carry me.

Heather said...

I am thinking of you and your family today. I know all to well that feeling of handing your only child to the nurse to be taken away from your physical arms forever. It truly is terrible.

I pray God will give you comfort and that you will feel Isaac near you today.

Carly K. said...

Happy Birthday sweet baby Isaac. Stacy, you and Spencer are in my heart and on my mind today. Isaac is so beautiful and such an amazing little boy. I hope that Isaac and Will are having a big party in heaven today! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Whitney said...

You said it so well. The physical and emotional pain is unbearable. Thinking about you guys today (and your little Isaac).

Ellie said...

I'm thinking about you on this day. I have followed your blog since April of 08, and Isaac has without a doubt had a profound impact on my life. Not nearly as much as you and Spencer, I know, but I too look forward to seeing Isaac in Heaven.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Happy Birthday, beautiful, beautiful boy!

Thank you for sharing your heart in this amazing post.

Isaac has impacted the world in amazing ways...and the grace of God shines through you, dear friend.

Love and Prayers Always...

Laura Ripley said...

Thank you for the pictures that you put in this post. May God's presence surround you today and everyday that you are away from your little boy.

Alicia said...

Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Isaac.

Lisa said...

I have been a followerer of your blog for sometime now, and I just have to tell you how much I feel everyword you wrote about wanting to have your son with you.Even though we know they are so much better with the Lord, its so hard as their Mom to not want them here to love on. My oldest son Keane, was born 7 years ago next month and to this day this time of year is the hardest time for me. Your sweet precious Isaacs story has touched my heart. Your in my prayers.

Blessings

Lisa

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your beautiful little boy. He inspired alot of love in those 16 minutes, and I will always carry a special image of the three of you in my heart. God bless you, I'd like to think the sunshine today is Issac giving you little baby kisses to let you know he is alright with the Lord.

Crissie T. said...

Woke up to a beautiful MD sunrise this morning and immediately thought of you, Spencer, and Isaac. Praying that you are able to enjoy everything special you've planned today to celebrate Isaac's Birthday. He has left an enormous impact on this world and continues to with each passing day. Thank you for opening your heart with us Stacy; I am so blessed to have met you and Spencer and to read about your journey through it all.

Sending love and prayers for your incredible family. God Bless Isaac. Happy Birthday, sweet boy.

fragments said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet little boy, Isaac! Thank you for sharing him with us again on this precious day.

You're in my thoughts.

-Crystal Theresa

pollykinz said...

Stacy, you guys are all in my thoughts and prayers today. I tried to email you, but am having email issues both at work and with AOL. I can only imagine how hard this day is, please find strength in all the prayers going up for you, Spencer and Isaac on this day. Big huge hugs - you are an inspiration.

Sheila said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! Thinking of your mommy & daddy today and wishing them love, support and strength. You have made an impact on my life sweet boy and we never even met :). Give my baby Stephen a hug and go have fun on your birthday.

JessAndi said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today.

Mary Ellen said...

Thinking of you this week. Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweet Isaac!

Jennifer said...

praying for you

CoolChicSophisticate said...

My heart hurts for you today, we are continuously praying for your family.

Ashly said...

Hey Stacy, I've been thinking about you and praying for you all day today. I know its a hard day but also nice to have an entire day to reflect on and talk about and think about Isaac. He is so adorable. I know you miss him. Will continue to pray for you guys.

Anonymous said...

Longtime reader here... I have been following your journey for more than a year, but this is the first time I have commented. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today. You inspire me, and I hope you and your husband realize how many lives you have changed and how many people have been touched by your faith.

Happy birthday to sweet Isaac.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! You are adorable! Prayers to you, Stacy & Spencer as you celebrate, and remember this day! Your story has helped so many people appreciate the little things in life more, to not take family and love for granted! Thank you for sharing!
Lynne

Desiree said...

Happy Birthday beautiful boy, Isaac!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday dear sweet, beautiful Isaac! Stacy, words cannot describe how deeply Isaac's story has touched my heart throughout the past year.

I am someone who Isaac helped bring closer to God, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

I know that this past year has not been easy (to put it lightly). I continue to pray for strength and grace for you and Spencer. Your story has inspired me and enabled me to enjoy each and every moment that I have with my loved ones and to take nothing for granted.

Again, Happy Birthday Isaac! You are so loved and so terribly missed. Please take care.

Ashley & Chris said...

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac.

Laura from Philly said...

Happy Birthday precious Isaac!
You are one lucky boy who spent his life here on earth ONLY knowing LOVE...nothing but pure unconditional love.
Your mommy is sooo right; you have made the world better, just by being born.

Anonymous said...

Stacy, such beautiful words expressing profound love for your precious Isaac. He has indeed touched so many lives. We are truly blessed. I've prayed many prayers for you and Spencer in these past fews days. May God's love and presence comfort you today.

Elizabeth

Erin said...

God bless you and your husband. I feel like Diane when my life seems overwhelming and I read about what you and your husband have been through I have to stop and count my blessings. Praying for both of you and thank you for sharing your heart with us

The Barron's said...

I have been praying for you. You are such a wonderful Mother and person. Little Isaac HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Kelly said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! Sending you all thoughts and prayers and (((hugs))).

Kristin said...

Thank you for sharing that beautiful post today. I hope that today was filled with wonderful memories of Isaac and happiness that he is still having an impact on the world 1 year later. What a blessing you all are!
Kristin

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Abiding with you today.

rebecca said...

You and Spencer have been in my thoughts and in my prayers today as you have been every day.
This post is such a wonderful tribute to your sweet baby boy.

"Happy First Birthday, Isaac!"
We can only imagine the awesome celebration you must be having in Heaven!

XOXO

Sarah said...

I had to stop by today and let you know that I am still thinking of you. I know that I rarely comment, but I have never stopped thinking of you and Issac. I pray for him everyday. His birth changed so many lives, especially mine. I can't imagine how difficult today is for you, but please know that I am thinking of and praying for you today.

Mommy said...

Happy Birthday Isaac,you have changed so many lives.

Stacy & Spencer I am praying for you today as I do everyday.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday little Isaac, you must be up there with our heavenly father and be so proud of your mommy and daddy! Spencer and Stacy I will pray that god continues to guide you and carry you thru this journey...much love to you.

Valerie said...

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac.

Stacy and Spencer - I've thought of you often over the past year. Sending continued prayers.

Valerie

~Kelli said...

Thinking of you today! Many prayers & hugs!

Happy birthday Isaac!

Paige said...

What a beautiful post! Lifting you and your family up in prayer today.

The Mama Bird said...

Happy birthday to your sweet sweet Isaac. I don't know if I've ever commented here before but I have followed you for a long time. My little girl was born two days after Isaac, on 10/9/08, and this week, as her birthday approaches, I find my heart feeling so so burdened for you. I don't even know you but I find myself weeping when I think of you. I know it is God's way of bringing me before Him on your behalf, so that's what I've been doing. I am praying for you and thanking God that you have the comfort of knowing that Isaac is Home, waiting for you.

Busted said...

Sending much love to your family and remembering sweet Isaac today. Happy birthday little man.

What you write about the pain of handing over your child was so poignant. I still feel physical pain when I think about holding our little ones we lost and wanting just that little bit of extra time before handing them off, moving on. It's not something anyone can ever get over. Thank you for reminding me there are others who do understand, much as I wish there weren't.

Connor's Mom said...

What a beautiful post from a beautiful mom with obviously so much love for her son. We are all blessed for having been connected with your story in whatever way that was. God is using Isaac for his glory but also YOU.

I have to say the part that touched my heart was the most was that where you spoke of kissing him, holding him and talking with him while he was full of LIFE. I can't even imagine how bittersweet the moment was. May you rest easy knowing that Isaac has no doubts how much he was, is and will continue to be loved.

May God bless you and Spencer especially today, but always and may He continue to give you the words to continue this, your ministry.

Blessings from MI,
Staci

Jen said...

Happy Birthday, Isaac! I know words alone cannot say anything to give this day/moment justice for you and Spencer. I know what you are going through and am keeping you close in thought and prayer.

FSD said...

My heart skipped a beat when I saw this post. I can't believe it's been a year! Wow! My heart is heavy for you today. I will say an extra special prayer for Spencer and you this evening. I'm so sorry you don't have your sweet Isaac here in the flesh to celebrate his first birthday. I can't begin to understand God's plan in this situation, but I know it's perfect! I admire your strength and reading your journey over the last 12 months has increased my faith even more. God bless you on this very special day. (((HUGS)))

Happy Birthday, Isaac!

Anonymous said...

I have followed your blog for a long time but this is my first time posting. I have never lost a child that was born (I did have a miscarriage) but I can relate to your description of pain so strong it rocks your core and makes you physically ill. I can't adequately express my sorrow for you and how blessed I have been to 'follow' you as you travel this new road. Our church is focusing on a book called "The Story" this year. This past Sunday our Pastor simply stated the reason why we exist: to glorify God. There is no doubt that you, Spencer, and Isaac have been and are continuing to glorify God. When you and Spencer eventually reach Heaven and are reunited with Jesus, He will say, "Well done, my daughter and son.... well done".

Nicole said...

Thank you for sharing Issac's story with us. Your faith has renewed mine. Thank you! May you know that your sweet little red haired little boy has changed my world. Thank you! Thank you!
Happy Birthday Issac! Hugs and love to you and Spencer.
Love,
Nicole

Anonymous said...

Prayed for you and thought of you today. Happy Birthday little Isaac- you are missed, and loved on earth to the same degree that God loves you at this moment in Heaven.

Jen

Sarah M said...

Stacy you have been in our thoughts and prayers today. I am so saddened that this day wasn't joyous for your family. I gave Avery an extra hug and kiss today. I so wish that you could be celebrating with Isaac the way we were able to with Avery today. Isaac is so lucky to have loving parents.

Happy 1st birthday sweet Isaac.

~Sarah (sdkrlm)

Liz and Will Timmerman said...

Happy birthday Isaac! The world is a better place because of you and is forever changed. I hope you enjoyed your first birthday in heaven with Jesus. I know you are ever so proud of the beauty and grace your parents have shown this past year as they miss you, sweet boy.

Love,
The Timmermans

Dixie said...

Praying and trusting that God showered you with His peace yesterday, knowing that beautiful Isaac was being celebrated in heaven. May God continued to provide for your family all you need to carry on.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Isaac! Praying for you all today!

Missy

Annie Marie said...

Praise God for the beautiful gift of Isaac. I am so sorry that he can't be with you on his first birthday, Stacy. I pray God gives you peace and comfort. You are such an amazing mother and have so much beautiful love her your heart.

Erika said...

Stacy,

Happy Birthday to your sweet boy, Isaac. I think of him often, and wish he were here with you today celebrating with a big birthday cake, blowing out his first candle. I am so encouraged by your story, and you have helped me heal my own heart in the loss of my daughters, Vivian and Annemarie. Sending you prayers for a peaceful remembrance of Isaac's life. I have found that passing the one year mark really did make things easier...harder sometimes, but easier to get on with day to day life, if you know what I mean. (((hugs)))

Crystal said...

I am visiting from a friends blog. Isaac is honestly the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen in my life. You're story has touched our family. We are praying for you.

Kelly said...

Thinking of you guys
Love, Kelly & Brian

Ang said...

Happy Birthday Issac! What a beautiful boy you are.

Anonymous said...

Hi Stacy,

I've been following your blog for a while and I can't believe it has been a year since Isaac went to be with the lord. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. My heart breaks for you and I have a small understanding about how you must be feeling...I lost 2 babies but they were younger than Isaac but it was the hardest thing I've ever experienced so I can only imagine what you have been going through this past year. When you talked about having to give Isaac back to the nurse I cried so hard. I know God has a purpose and plan for all of us but sometimes it's hard to understand why we have to suffer in this life. I just look forward so much to Jesus coming again and saving us so we won't have to endure anymore pain..and we also get to see our sweet babies in heaven. I know God has amazing things planned for your future. I just pray that he will continue to comfort you and know that he is with you. Love in Christ, Stacey

SayraH said...

I am completely humbled by this post. First time follower, and first time commenter. Prayers for you and your husband are lifted today. What a special pair you two are, amazingly so that God would use you two as the vessel for Isaac's legacy. God Bless You!!

Renee said...

God bless you and your sweet, beautiful son. Your strength and grace are an inspiration.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

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LCP said...

I know I am just one of 130 comments...but THANK YOU(and Isaac) for giving me pause today. I am getting ready to celebrate my son's 1st brithday this weekend (he was born on the 8th), and after reading your post I have to pause, say a prayer, and give thanks. I - and so many others - very easily lose sight of the reason we are here and how very blessed we all are, in so many different upsidedown ways. Any one of us could be just as easily celebrating a birthday the same way you and your husband are. God is good no matter who we are or how our lives have been shaped. Thank you for sharing your story and your grace and your love with so many of us.

May God continue to bless you and your family. Happy Birthday sweet boy.

Our Life in Pixels said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God's hands comfort you during this time. Isaac's life was not in vain. The first post made me cry because he continues to touch peoples lives. He is receiving a lot of crowns in heaven for sure to cast at his Saviors feet!

My Forever Child said...

Blessings to you on your 1st birthday in Heaven, beautiful baby Isaac!

Tim and Jennifer said...

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac! Your life and legacy will always be remembered. My prayers go out as you continue to grieve and grow from the loss of your son. May God continue to fill you both with His love and blessings.

The Morris Family said...

Like you said, I think other than our little 3 yr Joel's last breath, it was laying him on the bed and walking away, leaving my little boy whom no other had ever cared for him besides his daddy and I and all his siblings. There are no words to describe that moment and I am crying now as it is still so deep.....may our Great God give you and I both grace as the memories are so sweet yet so intense.

Happy Birthday sweet Isaac!! Play with Joel and we'll see ya soon!!

Cindy

Corie said...

Well written my friend. I know the pain can feel so intense mixed with joy that he is ok. It really just doesn't ever make sense. I think of you often and think of our boys. I continue to pray for you.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, precious Isaac! Reading your Mom's beautiful blog today brought tears to my eyes. I lost my own son a year ago in September. We celebrated and remembered dear Brendan with angel food cake on his birthday. Wishing your family much peace and love~
Jan

Rev. Mindi said...

This is many days later, but I want to say my prayers and tears are still with you. You are full of God's courage and strength, and we know Isaac lives on with our Lord because of your witness of Christ's love. I am blessed because of your blog.
Mindi

Kelli said...

Hi Stacy, I just stumbled upon your blog today and I know that God must have a reason for it. I am so very sorry for your loss and can't even imagine your pain. Your story has touched me so deeply the tears just won't stop....I will forever be praying for you and your family.

With Love,
A Sister in Christ