Saturday, May 3, 2008

A dose of hope

We have received a few small doses of hope over the last week or so. The FISH results (the quicker results) from the CVS test came back normal. No Down Syndrome, trisomy 13 or 18, and no Turner's Syndrome. AND, we found out that I am pregnant with a little boy!

Yesterday, we received more good news. The more thorough results of the CVS test were all normal. Our genetic counselor even requested specific testing on chromosome 22 for something called DiGeorge Syndrome which is associated with congenital heart defects, which in turn, are associated with cyctic hygromas. That, too was normal.

Unfortunately, this doesn't improve the 10-15% chance of a viable pregnancy, as that statistic correlates nuchal fold thickness in babies with normal chromosomes and viablility. But, they were able to rule out some pretty significant and scary things. God is good. A dose of hope.

I was reading in 1 John recently about love, and about how we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19... the verse that was actually on our wedding invitation). Prior to that, though, it talks about how there is no fear in love, because perfect love casts out fear. There have been many times in the past few weeks that I have felt really afraid, and I know that's normal. But, I know that fear can also grip a person to the point where they are left somewhat paralyzed emotionally, and when that happens, we can't love well. I have no idea what God has in store for us with this pregnancy; but what I do know is that we're called to love others well... even this little baby that isn't born yet. So, would you pray that Spencer and I would have the courage, in spite of fear, to love this baby well for however long God would have him be with us and to not be afraid?

Would you please continue to pray for a miracle, not just for the sake of Spencer, myself, and our baby, but so that other people in our lives, particularly our family, might see His good works and come to know him? I think about times in scripture where Jesus was questioned about people's disabilites, being asked if it was that person's father's sins that made them that way, and how Jesus replied that no, this happened so that the power of God might be displayed in that person's life. Would you pray that God works a miracle, that His power would be displayed in our lives so that others would believe and come to know Him?

I have come to realize that these circumstances are part of a much large picture... the picture of God's redemptive story of humanity. How He chooses to act and to move in this is His perogative; He is soverign and He is always good. But, How I choose to handle this and to respond speaks volumes of God's character as well; I have the opportunity, through this waiting and suffering, and how I choose to love my son in the meantime, to bring glory and honor to Him. THAT is a reason to have hope.