Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Grind

It's been a while since I've posted any real updates, and I have missed sharing with you all here. Spencer and I are both back to the grind now that school has started (for teachers, anyway... kids come back on Tuesday). I am working at a new school, with a new staff, a new curriculum, and a new schedule. Ordinarily, this is something that would excite me; it can be easy to become complacent and it's always good to shake things up a bit once in a while. The fact that my commute was cut in more than half doesn't hurt either.

However, this year, all of these changes are coming at a hard time, and I miss the comfort and familiarity with the school at which I had been working. I miss the ease with which I could work through the curriculum because I knew it well, I miss the depth of relationships with my co-workers... I guess just the security of it all. On Monday night (the eve of going back to work) I didn't sleep well. I literally tossed and turned all night, and woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I don't know if it was the anticipation of meeting a new (and very large) staff, or if was the anxiety of not knowing how I was going to emotionally handle the stress of going back to work. Perhaps it was both.

The folks at my new school have been exceptionally welcoming, friendly, and supportive. I know that it will take some time to become familiar with this school's routines, the new schedule, the new curriculum... and as it was pointed out to me, I need to somehow learn to give myself the grace to simply be just "good enough" right now. That's hard for me because, as the people who know be best would tell you, I can be a total "type A" perfectionist sort of person. "Good enough" was never okay with me. But now it is, because there's a greater thing at stake... a greater thing that needs my time and attention.

And so, we're back to the grind. In all honesty, it is taking its toll. Spencer has less time to golf, which may sound funny, but it has really been a great outlet for him this summer. For me, I already had been feeling like I was in this constant countdown of how many days I had left with Isaac. Now, those days are flying faster and I know I can't get them back. That's been a difficult thing for me, and I am fearful that mid-October is going to be here all too soon.

We could really use your prayers. Would you please pray with us that God would give us the capacity to handle the stress that a new school year and middle schoolers bring? Would you please pray that we would learn to really prioritize in the coming weeks what is non-negotiable at work, and what it is we can let go for the sake of slowing time and enjoying these last 7 or 8 weeks with Isaac? Would you please pray as October continues to draw near, that God would guard our hearts, grant us His peace, and give us the strength to still do a good job a work? And would you continue to please pray with us that He would do a miracle and heal our sweet Isaac?

Thanks for continuing to encourage us and pray for us. We need it, and it means mroe to us than you know.

15 comments:

Haute Cooking said...

I have been following your blog for awhile from the nest. I really wish you all the best. Your story is heartbreaking but inspiring. All of the best to you in these coming weeks.

hennhouse said...

Yes.

Praying.

Melissa said...

Still praying for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I just read your blog from the first post to the last. You are both such strong and amazing parents, even if you feel like you are barely hanging in there. I will continue to follow your journey and pray for you both and Issac.

AngelsAmid said...

I'll continue to pray for a miracle. I'm praying for you and your DH during this time of new changes.

Anonymous said...

Stacy, Spencer and Isaac, I continue to pray for you all.

From Nestie becoming_untied

Pete, Alison and Charlie said...

Praying for you both - and little Isaac too. Hoping that time slows down to a crawl for the next couple of months, so you can enjoy each and every moment with your little boy. I have been in a very similar situation to you, with my first son Will. Sending much love, Ali x

alihutch said...

Oh honey, I pray for ANYONE who gets to work with middle schoolers! My mom did it for 15 years, my sister did it for about 5 years, I saw what a challenge it can be.
You, Spencer and Isaac are already in my prayers every day.
Love from Yellowcar (the Nest),
Alison

Aunt Robin said...

i definitely will pray for all of the these things for the three of you.

Kara said...

Adorable pictures from the earlier blog. Good luck in these next few weeks! You both are in my prayers. (and Isaac of course!)

Diana said...

I read your history

I'm crying, and I will pray for you and your family.

missyolivepants said...

Stacy - I am so in awe of what a wonderful mother you already are - and what amazing faith you have. I know you are doing the right thing, and God will bless you because of it...more than you can imagine. I am believing with you and Spencer for your beautiful baby Isaac to be healthy - to be a witness of God's love & mercy to those around you.

I love the songs you have chosen on your blog...they are so encouraging and I pray that each time you hear them, that the Holy Spirit will encourage you and bring you peace and hope.

Believing...
Stacy (aka MeantToBeWed)

Stephanie said...

Praying.

Cathy said...

know that you are in our prayers. For your peace at school, courage to be strong in your decision with Isaac and please precious LORD grant this family the miracle they are asking for.

Judy said...

I am praying for you and your family. I noticed your blog a while back and have been thinking about you and your family.