Be Strong and Courageous

This past week I signed up to participate in a 7- week women's Bible study at our church. It's a precept Bible study which I have heard from others are really good. This particular one is on the book of Joshua. I am really looking forward to it, and it's been a while since I have been part of a focused, meaty study.

I got up this morning with my coffee and started on the first day of lesson 1, which took me through Joshua 1. This is the part right after Moses has died, and the Lord tells Joshua that he is going to lead the people in crossing the Jordan River. What I had forgotten that was tucked away in Joshua 1 were some verses I needed to hear this morning:

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:5-9

To be honest, over the past year or so, I have felt incredibly forsaken. Even though I know I haven't been, because God's word is true and it never changes even when our circumstances do, I still have felt pretty abandoned by God at times... feeling like He hasn't shown up in the way I had pleaded, or that He has let us encounter sorrow upon sorrow. And there have been plenty of times over the past year that I have been both terrified and discouraged... terrified about Isaac's prognosis, terrified that we'd show up for an ultrasound only to find out that Isaac's heart had stopped beating, terrified that God wouldn't grant us the miracle so many had been praying for, terrified that the spinal would hurt, terrified that we would never know joy again. There have also been plenty of times we have been discouraged... discouraged when we found out that Isaac's omphalocele incorporated so many of his abdominal organs, discouraged when he were told that he didn't have enough lung tissue to survive outside of the womb.

More recently, though, it is clear to me that God has been so present; that He hasn't forsaken us.

Recently, I was e-mailing with a friend who had asked me how I have been able to guard my heart against bitterness. To be honest, I am not sure that I completely have. But, what I do know is that bitterness creeps in when my eyes are focused on the ways that God didn't seem to come through. But when I stop to really consider how present He has been, how He has used His people meet us in our time of brokenness and grief... I can clearly see that God hasn't forsaken us; He is with us, and He has been very present.

He was present at each of the ultrasounds where he enabled Spencer and I to enjoy looking at our sweet Isaac... to watch him wiggle and kick and give us his thumbs up.


He was present throughout my pregnancy, allowing us to enjoy talking to Isaac, playing him music, and feeling him kick.


He was present on October 7 when we met our beautiful son... in the peacefulness that Isaac had, and even in the joy that He allowed us to experience despite it being a time unspeakable heartache.


He was present on October 11 when we had a small family graveside burial service.


He was present on October 18 when we had Isaac's memorial service and celebrated and honored Isaac's life.


And He has been present every day since... meeting us on some days in our brokenness, and on other days in restoring our joy.


Twice in that passage God admonishes Joshua to be "strong and courageous." Coupled with that, God promises to not leave or forsake Joshua. Knowing that he isn't alone, Joshua can go forward in great confidence; and so can we.

I just want to encourage you... whatever it is that you may be facing, whether it's the death of your child or something else that feels insurmountable, know that you aren't going at it alone... even if it may feel like it. God is there, He is present, He will meet you in your brokenness... and He will enable you to walk/limp/crawl through both strongly and courageously.