Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Couple of Things...

Thank you to the many of you who continue to pray for us and who left words of encouragement for us either on this blog or who e-mailed me. Friday was hard... I knew it would be. At 8:33 am, the time when Isaac was born, Spencer was sweet enough to call and we just talked for a few moments before his students entered the locker room. All morning my mind had going to thoughts like, "At this time on October 7, we were just arriving at the hospital," or "At this time on October 7, Kathy was hooking up my IV..." and when I thought, "At this time on October 7, Isaac was born," my phone rang. It was good to be able to connect with him during that time.

My mom came down to visit last Friday, and we had decided to get lunch at Chick-Fil-A. As we were eating, a girl around my age came in with her mom... and her newborn in a carrier. And where did they choose to sit? Right next to us. It was just more than I could take... I looked at my mom, told her we needed to leave, and she graciously did... finishing her salad in the car! The fact here is simple: it was excruciating to watch before me what I desperately wished my life looked like, feeling as though it should have been three of us at lunch that day... my mom, me, and Isaac... but instead there were two. Someone was missing. He still is...and truthfully, he always will be.

On an exciting note, I have been told by the folks at Mountain View, our church, that we have raised about $9,000 towards Isaac's playground!! We are blessed, and I am truly humbled by this. Thank you so much for your generosity. I've had an offer for another fundraising opportunity to raise additional funds for this project, so please stay tuned for details.

Lastly, someone posted a comment a little while back asking me to share a little more about me and Spencer and our life; for those of you who know us, this isn't new information. For those of you who don't, here ya go!

Spencer and I met at work. The elementary school where I was teaching at the time was hiring a new part-time phys. ed. teacher. I was in over the summer to work in my classroom, and the dear secretary said, "Stacy, you ought to meet this new phys. ed teacher! Look... here's his resume!" No joke... she handed me his resume! And I actually read it! You never know what to think when someone tells you someone is good-looking or that you ought to meet them, because people's thoughts on what "good-looking" is varries, but I have to say, this dear woman was right. In fact, the first few months he was working there my friends and I fondly referred to him as HGT... hot gym teacher! Anyhow, we had spent some time together during lunch, and he had come to leadership for Young Life a few times in an effort to get plugged in to a Bible study in the are. In late October of that year (2003) he asked me our on our first date, to Six Flags. We had a great time and I didn't want the day to end, so I invited him over for dinner. I went out on a limb there, but am glad I did.

We were engaged a short time later...5 months later to be exact... on March 11, 2004 (two days after my birthday!). Spencer proposed at a friend's parents' house. They had set up a bonfire on a beautiful starry evening... it was perfect. And I fell for the surprise! We were then married 9 months later on December 18, 2004. Here's a little wedding photo:



Since being married, we have had our share of joys and sorrows. I'll focus on a few of the joys...We bought and sold our condo in which we were living and bought a home in a neighborhood we absolutely love. We are glad to know that we will be very happy staying here for quite some time. We've had the opportunity to travel, which has been wonderful, and hope that those opportunities continue.

Some other random little things about our life I guess would include that we both are still teahcing. Spencer teachers phys. ed. at a middle school, and I teach 6th grade Reading at a different middle school. Spence is currently pursuing his Master's Degree in School Leadership and Administration. Outside of our careers, we were involved with the Young Life ministry for quite some time. I had lead at a high school for 5 years before Spencer and I spent another 5 years leading WyldLife, Young Life's ministry to middle schoolers. This is our first year not leading, and in some ways I miss it terribly. We both are also pretty active people, enjoying getting to the gym and just being active in general... Spence enjoys golf, I enjoy running. We are blessed with wonderful family and a phenomenal group of friends including our small group (through a church many of us used to attend, but then some of us moved and now attend a different church, but our small group still remains!).

So that's a little peek into our lives... we're slowly putting the pieces back together again. It really is a day-by-day process when your world feels as though it has crumbled; grief can be so unpredictable and is truly exhausting to work through. But the only way is through it, trusting that God will provide just enough grace for each step.

There's a blog I frequent written by Greg Sponberg, husband of the Christian singer Nicol Sponberg. They lost their little boy, Luke this year due to SIDS. In one of his posts he recounted words that they received after Luke died that had really meant a lot to them. Their grief counselor shared this:

My experiences tell me that you're going to walk with a limp. You'll be okay and you're going to make it. But you'll walk with a limp.

It would be dishonest to say that we are doing any better than limping. We are limping, but at least we're walking. And we are grateful for the many people who have come along side of us as we limp along our way.

Thank you for continuing to pray for us... that God would continue to meet is in our many questions and lack of understanding, that He would show us just how trustworthy He is, and that He would protect our hearts with His perfect peace as we continue to miss our sweet Isaac so, so much.



39 comments:

Open your Eyes. said...

A beautiful post from a beautiful blogger who had the most beautiful child.

Thank you for sharing! Have a blessed weekend xxx.

Love, Becca X.

Amy said...

Stacy,
I've never commented on your blog before, but read it regularly. You and Spencer are such amazing, strong people and your faith in God is such an inspiration to me. Y'all are always in my prayers. I wish you peace and God's healing touch for your broken heart.

Taylor said...

Hey Stacy. I still think about you and pray for you everyday. Another teacher that I work with reads your blog and will always ask me about you since we have become friends. I feel like I know you even if we have never "met" in person. I hope that one day we will. Sending hugs and prayers today.

~Taylor

sandi said...

Still loving you! It was fun to get to know you two even better through your beautiful words. Nothings cooler than being married to the HGT!

Jen said...

Hi Stacy,

My name is Jen and this is my first time commenting but I've been reading your words for a couple of weeks now! I came across your blog from Danielle's Blog and I've been so touched by your story! I am truly sorry for you loss. I can't even imagine! Issac is beautiful! I too am a teacher and sister in Christ so you know I've been praying for you and your family! It's ok to have a limp, just keep on walking!!

Jen

Walking by Faith said...

Stacy,
I'm home from church this morning with my 2 sick little boys. I had posted your link on my blog a few weeks ago for people to pray for you, and I thought I'd come over to see how you're doing. The 'limp' story seems like the right way to describe how this has affected your life. If I could share with you...my best friend lost her baby girl almost 5 years ago just 2 weeks before her due date. She has seen your blog and she said your pictures flooded her with memories..for she has the same photos. I'll never forget holding her beautiful baby..and I'll never forget how this changed her & her husband's life. They too walked with a 'limp'...but that limp changed over time, from a limp of grief, to strength. She is forever changed, but she is sooooo good at seeing other people's limps...their needs. God may have taken this precious gift away only for a season, but in return He gives himself...his strength. I know my best friend would agree this doesn't seem like the right trade off..it took time to heal. I'm praying for you, my husband and I have both prayed for ya'll, and my friend,Kelsey, has prayed for you. It was her first born she lost, and then God blessed them with 2 little boys. I know she wouldn't mind if you stopped by her stie:
www.babyhomepages.net/beau2005

Anonymous said...

Stacy

You and spencer are a beautiful couple. I admire that you two hold on to each other for strength, support and love through this most difficult time. I continue to pray that God will help you through this with some relief to your broken hearts.

-Connie

AJinVA said...

I continue to follow your story because your faith is an inspiration. I hope that I am able to share half as much love with baby as you do with your son. You will always have a son - don't ever ever let anyone dismiss his life, he has had more of an impact on the world than most of us can ever hope for in our lifetimes. You are always in my prayers

Christy said...

Thinking and praying for you

Kelly said...

I love the quote from Greg and Nichol's blog about "walking with a limp". So true...many of us are with you limping along. Beautiful post...

Amber said...

My thoughts were with you that day, thinking how hard it has to be. Since reading through your story and Angie's, I have often found myself looking at my kids and crying tears of joy at having them. And tears of sorrow for those that have lost. And then the other day as I watched the NILMDTS video and realized that we can lose them at anytime struck home and I cried some more. Thinking of you a lot these days and wishing you strength.

Amber

Rachel E. said...

Hi Stacy,
Thank you so much for sharing about how you and Spencer met. And as a former Young Life student, thank you and Spencer SO much for investing in the lives of high school students. I'm sure you already know this, but it makes such a difference during that tumultuous time of high school to have adults who truly care and are willing to give of their time and of themselves to be the presence of God to us. I am praying for you and Spencer and look forward to hearing how you're doing.

Much love and aloha,

Rachel in Hawaii

AngelsAmid said...

Thank you for sharing a piece of your world with us. You, Spencer, and Isaac have truly inspired me not to take anything for granted. I'm always praying for you.

Jaime said...

Thank you for sharing your life with us. I too have been walking with a limp since we lost our baby girl, Faith. Our walk has gotten stronger, and God has blessed us, but we will always have the limp and the scar on our heart in the shape of our baby girl's footprint. God will bless you and Spencer,and you will feel stronger, but your Isaac will always be a part of you.

kace said...

Stacy

I have never commented before but I don't even remember how I came acorss your blog, but I have been praying for you ever since I started reading. You have been an amazing testiment to Romans 12:12. Thanks for sharing more about you and your hubby and life, I love that you have been a part of YL and WL, my hubby and I are too! Such a small world! Pray that you will see God's glory reavealed more and more everyday! God bless!

Amy said...

I came across your blog yesterday when I was checking out stringofpearlsonline.org through another blogger's site. I am a pediatric/neonatal ICU nurse. Thank you for sharing about your family. I am praying for you and your husband. I could not imagine losing a child and my heart aches for every family who has. Stay strong and your faith and God will carry you through.

In Christ's Love,

Amy S from KS

Catherine said...

You are an ispiration! I hope each day brings with it just a little more peace than the day before!

Anonymous said...

Still praying for you Stacy. You are on my mind a lot. Thank you for your blog and for allowing perfect strangers to hear your story. I have truly been blessed and touched by you and Spencer and Isaac. I am so glad you have a close community who is grieving with you. I am so sorry y'all are having to go thru this.

Stephanie said...

So glad you have Spencer. I think it is the perfect time to think on things praiseworthy and a handsome, Christian husband is definitely praiseworthy!!
I am sorry you will always have a limp this side of heaven. That limp is ministering to so many and Jesus' love is permeating everything your write. I cannot wait until that limp is gone when Christ comes back for us.
I cannot imagine the envy and feelings you have when seeing other mom's. I pray that God would heal your heart in a supernatural way and the pain would subside. Isaac makes heaven so real and Jesus so obvious.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us strangers.
Love~
Stephanie

Karen said...

Hey Stacy - I was mourning along with you Friday as Nov. 7 was the due date of a child I lost in April 2007. It's still an important date. I'm still limping, but learning to walk as well. I wish you and Spencer the very best and pray for you regularly. God bless you both.

Nichelle said...

Still praying that your hearts will be comforted in the days to come. The blog about "walking with a limp" is so true...one counselor told me that losing our two children would be our family legacy...and "we" would get to decide if that was going to hurt or strengthen our family.
I have found so much support from your blog...I know it is hard to write about something so personal, but so many have been touched by little Isaac...and the faith that you have in our Heavenly Father.
Your sister in Christ.
Nichelle

Anonymous said...

Stacy,

Your words are so eloquent and I hate that you and Spencer are going through this :( Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your background. It sounds like you and Spencer were meant for each other and God brought you together.

I continue to pray for you daily and I pray for peace. My heart continues to ache for you both but feels joy when I think of your beautiful sweet Isaac watching over you.

I pray for so many things for you and Spencer. I pray that when the time is right, you and Spencer will be blessed with Isaac's sibling and once again be able to hold a baby of your own in your arms. No one will ever be able to replace Isaac, as he will forever be an angel watching over you!

Please take care.

Monica @ Writer Chic said...

I'm home from TN, and you are stop number one. Had to check in on you. Praying always. M

Jaci said...

Thank you for telling us about you and Spencer. I am sorry about your lunch incident. You guys are a great couple and I am glad I found your blog so I can continue to pray for you. Just so you know My name is Jaci, since I feel I kinda know you I thought I would introduce myself..

Anna said...

Stacy-
I continue to read your blog and am just continually amazed at your strength. I know you probably don't feel very strong right now but you are just an amazing person. I am continually inspired by your faith, devotion and love. Please know that you are continually in my thoughts and prayers.
Anna

Rachel said...

Stacy - I have really loved reading your blog over these past few weeks and praying for you. You are such a strong woman faith, and your writing has really been an inspiration. Thanks for the background story between you and Spencer. What a beautiful story it is. I'll continue tp pray for you.

~Kelli said...

I loved the little peak into your life. My friend and I have a similar "HGT" story with my now husband.

In the last 2 months, I don't think I said a prayer without you in it...no plans to stop any time soon.

Everytime I see Isaac picture, I just want to reach out and hold him. He is so beautiful.

Many prayers~

Baseballs and Tutu's said...

Beautiful!!!

Thank you for sharing your precious Issac and thoughts with us. I am so honored!

As always..I am praying for you..each and every day!

Our Life in Pixels said...

Thank you for opening up your life and hearts to us. My thoughts and prayers for God's grace under His wings are with you both. What a blessing to have friends and family at this time!

Kristy said...

Stacy, I lost my first baby 14 yrs. ago, after a year of trying, to a tubal pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant around the same time another lady I worked with was just a couple of months along. It was at most times unbearable to be around her and watch her ever expanding belly. I could not attend her baby shower, but bought her baby presents and cried and sobbed over them as I wrapped them to give to a friend to deliver. That was the hardest year of my life. I now have 3 beautiful children - I just wanted to say that God has since blessed me so much since that heartbreaking loss. I pray He does the same for you and your hubby.

Hope Wilson said...

So proud of you for walking!

boltefamily said...

Praying for you sweet Stacy! I too am walking with a limp. Somedays I am barely walking at all, thank you for sharing your heart, I am so sorry for your hurt, but I am sending love and prayers your way girl!

AmandaHoyt said...

Stacy,
Thank you for sharing. You and Spencer are in my prayers daily.
Hugs,
Amanda

Mandy said...

Thanks for sharing Stacy! It is nice to get to know you better as I pray for you and think about you. My birthday is March 13th! And I'm glad you are "walking", too! Praise be to God!

Suzie said...

Still praying for you dear friend. I know your struggles while out in public. I too have those days. I hope that the pain becomes a little less each day for you.

As a close friend of mine continues to tell me, "we love our babies enough to let them go be with God, as much as it hurts us, they are safe, warm and pain free. And for this we are remarkable parents."

I have used this so many times when I am having a horrible day. I hope this help a lil.

many prayers for you
Suzie

pollykinz said...

I was out of town all weekend and didn't get to send my love and prayers on Friday. Continuing to pray for you both.

Anonymous said...

DEAR STACY AND SPENCER,
WE HAVENT COMMENTED LATLEY BUT WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AND PRAYING FOR YOU THANKS AGAIN FOR TELLING ISAACS STORY PLEASE PRAY FOR JOLEA AS LAST WEEK SHE HAD A MISCARRIGE THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS
JANET ♥

Mande said...

Stacy,
I wanted you to know you are still in my prayers...I think of you all often and am so blessed by your posts.
P.S. My husband and I will be married 15 years on December 18th!

Finding Normal said...

Many prayers for both of you. Thank you for sharing Isaac's story and his beautiful photos. Such a gorgeous boy!