Thank You

I feel as though there are a number of long over-due thank yous that I need to share...

Thank you to each of you who has so faithfully prayed and encouraged us. We still need and appreciate your prayers and encouragement, as this process is still incredibly difficult, painful, and just plain heavy. The words that you leave here and in e-mails to us have helped me to put my feet on the floor each morning... and some days that in itself is a major feat.

Thank you to our family for your unconditional love and support over what has been a very, very difficult year.

Thank you to the blog reader who left the beautiful bracelet for me at Isaac's memorial service. I have searched back through comments that have been left and e-mails looking for who you are, and for the life of me cannot find the message you have left. If you see this, please e-mail me because I would like to send a more personal thank you than just this "shout out" on my blog.

Thank you to those of you who have contibuted to the playground being built in honor of Isaac and for helping us to remember and honor him in this special way.

Thank you to Bill Millios for the beautiful pictures of Isaac and the wonderful slideshow.

Thank you to Danielle for the beautiful blog makeover.

No real updates to share, except that Spencer has returned to work. He runs a mentor club at his school, and there is one boy in particular with whom he has developed a strong rapport. Yesterday, this boy apologized to Spencer for not making it to Isaac's memorial service because he wanted to come, and said that he cried that day because he was just so sad about what happened. I thought it was sweet that a middle school-aged boy felt that way.

It has been difficult for me with Spencer having gone back to work; I really dislike anything feeling like it is going back to normal, mostly because I feel as though it's not how things "should" look. Regardless of what I am doing, thoughts about how different things should be always creep in. I remember straightening my hair on Sunday morning thinking to myself, "I shouldn't have the time to be doing this right now; I should be feeding Isaac, have spit up on my shirt, and should be trying to get him ready to get out the door... not have twenty minutes to spend on my hair." I know in time those kinds of thoughts and that "mind chatter," as a friend described it, will begin to subside, but right now it's very present and to be honest, very difficult.

Thank you for continuing to pray for us in what feels like a very lonley time, when the world just keeps on moving when it feels as though our world has been shattered. I know I have asked before for just continued prayers for comfort and peace, and for God's presence to be very real to us, but truthfully, I don't know what else to ask you to pray for. So thank you for continuing to pray for those things, for God to heal our hearts that feel so broken, and for Him to show us how to navigate this "new normal" in our life... what it means to be a family of three that to the world looks like a family of two; how to be parents to a dear child who we desperately wish was here with us but isn't; how to move forward while we miss our sweet Isaac so much; and how to somehow allow God's goodness and grace to radiate through our story.